As of today, I have completed one full week of classes. True to overachiever form, I really want to start writing papers so that I can start being evaluated. Feedback is essential for life.
That aside, I am especially excited about my pastoral care class called Confession and Forgiveness from a Pastoral Perspective, which finally met for the first time this morning. Strange that I should be most excited about a class that is meant to help me care pastorally, since I am not at all interested in that particular "career path." However, given the fantastic examples of my undergrad and, now, graduate professors, I can see how all Christian teachers fulfill "pastoral" roles at one time or another.
Our professor, Dr. Robert Dykstra, seems a gentle man with a delightful sense of humor and a willingness to tread fearful paths (e.g. homosexuality, racism, etc.) and a lot of love. Apparently, he is the "sex guy" on campus (sort of like Dr. Young at Houghton). He teaches several pastoral care classes that deal with human sexuality, so it seems it's an appropriate designation. I would love to get them in a room together; two bright spirits!
There are fourteen books plus other supplementary readings. More than half of the texts are biographical or autobiographical. We will be discussing topics randing from sexual abuse to concentration camps, sincere apology to Lincoln's second inaugural address. Our final project is an eighteen page autobiographical paper, which is to point to specific events in our past that have shaped our theological viewpoint. Self-analysis is daunting stuff.
From the description Dr. Dykstra gave us in class, we will be learning how to tell the difference between guilt and shame and also how to embrace shame as a central part of our Christian identity. Embracing shame as an essential part of Christian identity... I'm not sure how I feel about that yet, but it's certainly an intriguing idea. In his introductory comments, inspired by Dr. Capps, another professor here at PTS, Dr. Dykstra said that by embracing our shame, we identify with Jesus in his crucifixion, but in dissociating from our shame, we dissociate from the cross, which was an entirely shameful experience for Christ, which he willingly embraced on our behalf. This type of embrace doesn't seem to entail enjoying shame or wallowing in it, but simply being vulnerable in our shame, willing to expose what makes/has made us feel ashamed.
This class is going to be difficult. Yes, the course work is substantial, but there will be an emotional toll as well. Dr. D. stated several times that he doesn't teach this course often because it is difficult for student and teacher alike. We are going to be struggling through some extraordinarily tough issues. I teared up while we were going over the syllabus, I can't imagine what it will be like once we're delving into a book written by a gay man who was alienated by the church or a text about broken families...
It's going to be tough and yet, it is still the class I am most eagerly anticipating. I'm sure this will provide much blog fodder over the next semester. Stay tuned.
5 comments:
If it helps, I can start grading your blog posts. This one gets a 96%.
Only 96? I think I'm going to cry myself to sleep now. :(
;)
I was looking for a more concert way to say that being afraid is similar to shame when I happened upon your blog. Thank you Google. I disagree that we need to embrace shame as an essential part of Christian identity. Shame is a toxic emotion that keeps us from God, not the other way around. Sin = Shame. People often hide from God when they've sinned, due to shame. I'd be curious to hear how your instructor sees the value in shame.
After having finished the course, I can say that I agree with my professors' idea that we should embrace our shame. Our discussion did not equate shame with sin. There is sometimes shame that comes along with sinful or immoral behavior, but shame can also be an irrational response to something that seems completely innocuous to the rest of the world. There is a difference between shame and guilt and it seems like you might be thinking of the latter.
It's difficult for me to form a coherent response right now, but I might write more about this later.
According to John Bradshaw (Healing the Shame that Binds You), he states a "healthy feeling of shame does let us know that we are limited. It tells us that to be human is to be limited." Healthy shame is an emotion which signals us about our limits. Shame is part of our boundry system. Or Healthy shame keeps us grounded. He also goes on to say that "Our healthy shame is essential as the ground of our spirituality. By signaling us of our essential limitations, our healthy shame lets us know that we are not God." Agreed. But I don't read in the Bible that Christ was shamed, nor that we have to identify with that shame. Why would he be shamed, when the definition of shame according to Websters is, 1: a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety b: the susceptibility to such emotion. 2: a condition of humiliating disgrace or disrepute : ignominy. 3 something that brings censure or reproach; also : something to be regretted.
You would have to explain to me what definition he's using of the word shame. Also, shame is a byproduct of guilt.
It does give one pause for thought.
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