Almost from the very moment I learned of my acceptance to PTS, I began plotting to make a major life change. Maybe not as major as quitting my job and moving to New Jersey to attend seminary, but pretty huge nonetheless. For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be known as "Kate." Katie is a perfectly lovely name, but I find that it reminds far too many people of a Golden Retriever they once had (like the one to the right found by searching katie+golden+retriever). To me, Kate sounds grown up and sophisticated and sort of British. No one names any dog of any kind Kate.I didn't realize the potential of accomplishing the goal of "changing my name" as an undergrad in a community where I was virtually unknown until it was too late. My name was destined to change while at Houghton, but instead of sophisticated Kate, I became gender-confused Elliott. When I was accepted to grad school, I was determined not to miss my second opportunity! It was like manna from heaven, this second chance. Alas, twenty-five years is a long time to have one name. After a quarter of a century with one label, it's not easy to convince yourself that another one fits.
For the first few days, I was able to introduce myself as Kate without faltering, but each day Katie slipped out more frequently, especially when I was introduced to other women named Kate, Katie, Katherine, Kathryn, of which there are multitudes. Even the people who were introduced to me with my "new name" reverted to Katie without a single iota of prompting. My neighbor, Sara, didn't even hesitate. She told me that I don't exude the pretension necessary to carry off Kate. I suppose that is a compliment, since I don't want to exude pretension, but I felt a little bit defeated. This plan was supposed to work!
Unfortunately, it seems I will have to come to terms with the idea that I'm not a Kate. I'm a Katie and I probably will be forever. Or, at least, until I earn my doctorate. Then I will be Dr. K. Jeanne Elliott, because every respectable academic must disown her first name.
What? You didn't know that? I will now exude pretension in your general direction.
UPDATE: I just realized I've given away my entire full name to readers of this blog...I guess it was bound to happen some time. Stalker, beware, I know where to kick you!
4 comments:
It's funny, because you are Kate to me. Well, you're sadsortosinging, or avoicecrying, or some such thing. Silly internet.
P.S. I thought I would share that my word verification today looks so much like a dirty word that I might have to start using it: sntcflut.
Ok...I can't believe I am about to admit this...
When I was a kid, I hated my name. The first year I signed up for sleep away camp, the application had a place to put your nickname. I figured that was my chance to change my life forever so I filled in my middle name.
When I got to camp, everything was labeled in my middle name and people were calling me by my middle name. The problem was, I didn't answer to my middle name no matter how hard people tried. I made such a fool of myself I never tried to change my name again.
Of course, if it makes you feel any better...I think of you as Kate.
From someone who goes by one of the most common names given, particularly in the late 70's and early 80's, I have thought of changing my name, too, and have been given a variety of nicknames based on my last name (Punky, anyone? If you can figure out the word association there, I might be slightly impressed) I have fallen back on "just" Sarah...with an "h" mind you. It seems to work, but can be confusing to people at work, and church and school...now which "Sarah" am I (I also have been known to answer to "Tara", "Lara", and the over-drawn out "Sir" /ser-uh/ in the British context). Anyways, I suppose that if you want me to call you Kate, I could, but it makes me think of a musical "Kiss me Kate" which I saw when I was 13 and didn't really impress...or British actresses. Names are a very interesting part of our identity. Mine is perfectly balanced: 5 letters, 4 letters, 5 letters- I am very hesitant about marriage for this reason and concerned that the hyphenation would cause a disruption to my sense of balance. Perhaps I should expend my energy on more weighty things...like world hunger.
I think I will just have to content myself with being known as "Kate" in the blogging world and "Katie" to everyone who sees me in person.
Btw, Sarah, I don't expect people who've always known me as Katie to begin calling me Kate unless, of course, you find it preferable and it rolls naturally off your tongue.
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