Silence is...

Some say that silence is golden, I would like to take this opportunity to say that silence is difficult.

It's BGLASS week at PTSem. BGLASS is a student organization, the goal of which is to provide a safe space for those on campus who are bisexual, gay, lesbian, transgender or heterosexual with questions about sexuality and spirituality. The acronym stands for Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian, and Straight (Seminarian) Supporters. Each spring, BGLASS sponsors a week full of events to raise awareness about issues facing the "queer" community and, as I already mentioned, this is it.

In the words of my very clever boyfriend, "I put the ASS in BGLASS." (We might even get t-shirts that say that next year ;). Anyway, today was the official, nationwide Day of Silence and as a straight supporter, I participated in the event. Each of us who participated carried cards with the following printed message to be given to anyone who questioned our silence:

"Please understand my reasons for not speaking today. I am participating in the Day of Silence, a national youth movement protesting the silence faced by lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people and their allies. My deliberate silence echoes that silence, which is caused by harassment, prejudice, and discriminaton. I believe that ending the silence is the first step toward fighting these injustices. Think about the voices you are not hearing today."

I don't have any official position on whether homosexuality is a sin. That is an easy question for some of you to answer, but the answer no longer seems as obvious to me as it once did. If you must, you can chalk it up to my liberal seminary education, but I assure you that I was questioning a lot of my "answers" long before I arrived at Princeton. Anyway, right now, it seems more important to do my best to love people than to spend my time labeling their sin because I no longer believe that labeling someone else's sin for them is the most loving thing I can do... Perhaps it's wrong, but that's where I am.

So, today, I donned my t-shirt and shut my mouth. Unfortunately, my silence is not rare, so only the people who already knew what was going on noticed that I wasn't talking. Still, the experience was a lot tougher than I thought it would be. There was no real suffering involved, but it did spur some contemplation about how horrible it would be to not be able to express my needs to those around me. What if I couldn't tell my beloved how I felt because I knew that I would be ostracized, harassed, beaten, or even murdered? Generally, I'm not a sharing person, but there are some things that need to be told!

Being heterosexual, I don't know what it's like for someone to tell me that who I love is wrong, but I have had the experience of being told who I am is wrong and I don't want to perpetuate that pain in other people, who did not ask to be homosexual any more than I asked to have brown hair or my mother's hands. I choose not to force people to live in silence because they are different, that is why I was silent today.

My Best Shot...

If you click on the picture, the full size view is large enough for a widescreen background.

This One's Good, Too

Event Full

Beginning with the seder on Friday, this weekend was busy and wonderful.

On Saturday morning, Jordan and I headed to Pennsburg to spend some time with his family. Matt and Daniel joined us later in the day. It was a nice change of venue since we've both been spending an inordinate amount of time staring at books and computer screens. I don't think any of us got as much work done as we would have liked, but it was still well worth the trip. Sarah was amused by the sight of all four of us sitting in the living room staring at our laptops. She took a few pictures of us socializing around our computer screens.

I think I gain five pounds every time we go to Jordan's house and this weekend was no exception. The wonderful food began with our lunch of bacon and cheese quiche. Sarah always likes to make special meals when there are guests. After lunch, we headed to Secret Spot to get gelati. It was good timing because the rain began only a few hours later.

Later in the afternoon, Jesse (Jordan's brother) and Josh (his friend from Maine) arrived with their dogs. Echoes, Josh's dog, is a Louisiana Catahoula Leopard Dog. She looks a little scary, but she's very calm, especially compared to Sadie, and sweet. Her owner is an interesting guy. He built himself a house on some property he owns in Maine. His goal is to live an environmentally sustainable lifestyle and he's well on his way.

The weight gain continued with a dinner of falafel, which I made with a little help from Daniel, pita, made by Jordan, hummus, fresh greens from the garden and Jasmine rice, followed by a dessert of French apple pie, made by Sarah and indescribably good. By the end, everyone was shoving back from the table and unbuttoning his or her pants.

This morning, we went to breakfast at Powderbourne. Daniel was so excited to eat scrapple that he was literally giggling as we entered the restaurant. I can't imagine the attraction to something so vile, but he and Jordan each ate a healthy slice. Shortly after breakfast, Matt and Daniel returned to school. Jordan and I hung about Pennsburg until 4:30 or so when we took to the flooded roads to travel to his father's place in order to celebrate his twin stepbrothers' birthday with a dinner out at a Brazillian steakhouse. Nearly four hours later, I'm still full.

It was a great weekend...not a particularly productive one, but certainly a refreshing one.

Passover: Only One Week Late

Last night, we celebrated Passover. We read some prayers, retold the story of the Exodus from Egypt, sang some songs, drank lots of wine and ate a wonderful meal. (Click on the picture at the right to see a slideshow of our evening.)

It all began around 2:30, when Jordan and I headed over to the CRW apartments to begin preparation for the meal. It took nearly four hours to grate the potatoes and onions and fry the latkes, grill the honey lime chicken, chop the apples and walnuts for the charoset, and steam the broccoli.

The seder began around 6:30. Including me and Jordan, there were nine people in attendance. Each person brought their own bottle of wine. I'm not a fan of most wine that I've had, but last night I discovered that I love Manischewitz wine. It is incredibly sweet and very grape-y. People who like wine would probably hate this stuff, but I drank almost an entire bottle of my alcoholic grape juice. Mmmmm...

Jordan modified the Haggadah so that it wouldn't take five hours. The whole event was very interactive, with each of us reading different parts at various times. He didn't modify it to make it Messianic, we simply celebrated the beauty of the Jewish traditions. He also didn't take out any of the glasses of wine, so several of our friends got a little tipsy.

When the celebration was over, Lydia had a craving for a ice cream cookie sandwich, so a bunch of us took a trip to Halo Pub, where we enjoyed some tasty ice cream. It was a wonderful evening, with some of the best fellowship I've had in a while. There's something beautiful about gathering around food in worship.

Ezekiel 16

My Women class is constantly feeding my thoughts these days, especially in the past week since I began doing some research for a group project focusing on Ezekiel 16. The research I've been doing has made me realize how often I have read the biblical text without actually reading it. This seems to be particularly true when it comes to the prophets because some of the stuff they say is simply grotesque and rather than struggling with the implications of the violence within the text, I have simply skimmed over them. Reading and re-reading the extended metaphor of God as Jerusalem's husband has been more than a little bit troublesome.

I will be posting some more about this in the next few days, but for now, why don't you read it for yourself. Slow down. Let it sink in. Check it out in several different versions. Try to look at it from the point of view of the woman, Jerusalem. Then tell me...how on earth does one teach this?

Struck

Romans 12:1 - I beseech you therefore, sisters, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.

Read this verse out loud, as it's written. Does it shock you? What kind of images come to mind?

During a lecture in my Women class today, my professor, wonderful Dr. Sakenfeld, read this passage: "I beseech you therefore..." half of the people in class were mouthing the words as she read this familiar passage. As she paused, our lips silently filled in the word that we expected, "brethren." Then she continued, "...sisters..."

I was struck dumb. As she spoke the part about presenting our bodies as a living sacrifice, my mind immediately leapt to sexual images. When I hear the text with the word "sister," my mind moves to images of women "giving themselves" to men for the sexual gratification of the man. Hearing the same text with the word "brethren," I think of a life of piety, lived for God, not for myself.

What does this say about me? What does this say about our culture? Why is it that I immediately associate sexuality and sacrifice in a female context? Did the resetting of this familiar text take anyone else by surprise?

After thinking about the way language affects our thoughts and actions for many years, the reality that just changing language is not enough was brought home to me more profoundly in the reading of that one text than in all the study I've done since college...

Always Interested...

in what people have to say about women and ordination. This blog post seems well worth the ten minutes or so it takes to read.

(Third blog post in one day and I've only been awake for six hours. What is happening to me, people?!!)

"Foot" Washing...

A snippet of conversation at my lunch table...

Me: In the Old Testament, "feet" sometimes refers to genitals.
Guy 1: Does that idea extend into the New Testament.
Guy 2: Dude, we went to a foot-washing service last night!

Only at seminary, folks...only at seminary.

Sleeping

I don't have classes, I don't have any reason to wake up before noon, unless you count homework, and I still can't sleep in.

This morning, I woke up at 7:40 a.m., but for some reason I thought it was 8:40 and decided that it was silly to try to go back to sleep. It wasn't until almost 40 minutes later that I realized my mistake. By then, I was completely awake with no hope of returning to dreamland.

Perhaps this will all change when I no longer have projects to do and papers to write, but I live in fear that I'm turning into an old woman who wants to sleep more than four hours a night but can't.

Simply. Beautiful.

H/t to Jessie.

Would Screaming Help?

I love Princeton, really, I do. It's been a good place for me this past year and I am sure I will treasure this experience for the rest of my life...blah blah blah.

But, sometimes I wonder if the administrative bureaucracy here needs a little talking to. We have a lot of resources here at PTS. A (space) lot. So, you would think that they might use some of those resources to bring the school's technology up to snuff. Well, you would be wrong.

Money that could be spent on making access to online resources faster and easier, they buy another book about why Daniel was written in the second century instead of the first or another person's take on liberation theology or the most up to date copy of John Bright's History of Israel with a few new pictures of the same old thing.

Obviously, these are things that should not be overlooked by an institution providing a theological education, but sometimes I think it might be nice if they put some of those things on the backburner in order to integrate technology more smoothly into student life. I can't imagine the tech people would get upset with the extra work because I bet they would love better technology even more than I would.

Think about it, PTS, you might want to compete with technology-conscious schools some day.

(This rant brought to you by the hour I wasted trying to print a passage in Hebrew so that I could do my translation homework for tomorrow, to no avail. Awesome!)

Freak OUT!

It's getting to the point in the semester where I start to freak out about how much work I still have to do. Currently, my biggest worries are the two group projects (one which is almost done, the other which is barely started), but I also have three research papers (none of which are begun) and reading and Hebrew translation and work and job-hunting and other odds and ends that never stop flying at me...AND ONLY 5 WEEKS until the end of the semester.

So, what do I do? I blog. When I get stressed out, my main coping strategy is to ignore what's stressing me out until I have to deal with it. Ugh! I love school, but I hate deadlines (and working in groups...).

The Book Sale

It was a success. The goal was $30,000 to split between four seminaries and, last I heard, we got about $29,500.

Next year, I will probably be a bit more involved in the whole process because Jordan is being groomed as the next "book sale person." So, most likely, I will be working at the book sale whether I want to or not ;). Fortunately, I want to... Maybe in special collections; greater prestige and all that.

Cleaning up the place was a little depressing. There were probably 100 boxes of books that went directly to the recycling center. Most of them were trash that should never have been printed, but I'm sure that there were many good books tossed away at the same time. I guess there's only so much you can do. When I found a book called Redemptorama, I stopped looking at what I was throwing away.

Anyway, if you live anywhere near NJ and have books that you might want to get rid of in the next year or so, bring 'em down, we could use them.

Emerging Women

I posted a lovely poem with some words of introduction over at Emerging Women. Check it out.

It Begins...

Tomorrow is the first day of the book sale. From 7-9 p.m., PTS students and faculty get a jump on the book buying madness. I won't be participating in the mad consumption since I've already had my fill. In the past week and a half, I have acquired 24 new free books as a reward for sorting and moving and sorting again.

When you walk into the gym, it's crazy. Over 40 12' long tables chock full of books fill the room. As we ran out of space on top of the tables, we started laying books underneath. In almost every category, we had enough books to completely cover the table and the floor beneath. The weirdest part is that none of it was there before 4 p.m.-ish yesterday!

There is a gigantic stack of boxes in one corner of the gym (pictured at right). The ceiling is probably about 30 feet high and it reaches almost all the way to the top. This morning, shortly after 8:30, I caused a box avalanche while attempting to receive some box tops. Fortunately, very few people had arrived, so there wasn't any teasing.

There was also a massive pile of boxes in the middle of the gym (pictured at left) that still needed to be sorted, but Marcy, Jordan, I and a handful of other people, who came and went, had them all sorted and placed on the proper tables by about 3 p.m. It was very satisfying to see the progress that we made as the day went on. It was freaking awesome when we finally sorted the last box.

Of course, it wasn't really the last box. As soon as we were "finished" they brought some more of the special collections (old, rare books and complete sets) boxes up to be sorted and put on display. Though the book sale thing can sort of become an obsession, I was ready to leave. The book sale people are grooming Jordan to become the next book sale person, though...

Anyway, if you're going to be in the Princeton area on Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday, stop at the PTS gym (on the corner of Hibben Road and Route 206) and have a look around. The prices are reasonable ($5 for hardcovers and $2 for paperbacks on Monday), the variety is sure to please almost anyone (everything from children's books to Paul Tillich and Karl Barth), all the money goes to overseas seminaries, and there are at least 5 copies of The Purpose Driven Life and the accompanying journal. Come on down!

Focus

When I was younger, I kept a journal. During high school and my first semester of college, that journal contained a fairly detailed account of everything that happened every day of my life. When I read my accounts now, they are pretty silly. Dozens of books filled with details of my life that no one (except I) will ever care about, but that I can't bring myself to toss in the garbage because journaling did something for me. It helped me to process my life when it felt like there was no one with whom I could share the details.

In the past few years, blogging has done the same thing for me in some ways. But...blogging is different. The processing has to take place before I write. I have to determine whether something I'm thinking or feeling is worth releasing in a public forum or whether I am even ready to communicate it.

I think I'm offering you, my faithful readers, an excuse for why I haven't been around. There's a lot of stuff milling around in my head these days and I just can't decide what of it is worth writing about. I never realized how much thinking one does in school until I came back after a few years off. The number of topics that I think about and talk about on any given day seems insane and it doesn't leave me a lot of energy (or time) to process something for ye olde blogosphere.

Anyway...that's all...I need a nap after getting only 5 hours of sleep and doing a presentation on Daniel 7 this morning. Read Daniel 7 and some of the commentaries on it, your brain will hurt, too.

More Awesomeness

When I was a child, my favorite book was Katie the Kitten. We had three different copies of the book because I insisted on having it read multiple times a day. In the past few years, I've been trying to find a copy to keep, but have only been able to find expensive first editions on eBay. And I just wasn't down with paying $60 for a Little Golden Book.

But, thanks to Jordan and the book sale, I now have my very own copy of Katie the Kitten. He found it in the pile of children's books and he brought it to me when he picked me up from work. If it were in better condition, they might be able to auction it, but as it is, I will treasure it and be able to read it to my children. Awesome!

Free and Easy

Every year, the Stewardship and Mission Committee at my dear seminary has a book sale. Thousands upon thousands of books are donated by students, faculty, alumni, friends of the seminary, widows/widowers of alumni. All of the books are then sorted and sold for very low prices to the Princeton community. The proceeds go to seminaries in developing countries and some of the books that are left over are donated to them. Because so many books are donated, it takes a multitude of people to sort and box them. All of the work is done on a volunteer basis, but for each hour one works one gets to choose a single hardcover or a couple paperbacks.

Many of the books donated are less than desirable; similar to the junk that people would take to the local Salvation Army store or Good Will. But, while sorting, it becomes easier to find the gems amidst the piles of rubble that should never have been printed in the first place (e.g. multiple copies of The Purpose Driven Life). Tonight, after I had already left, someone discovered a Greek textbook and a preaching textbook. Jordan was there and later told me of the discoveries. So, at the low low price of 1 hour of sorting, I've acquired two textbooks that probably would have cost nearly $50. Now that's what I call a good trade.

Good Things About Today

-My problems with my work study job were cleared up with one single email. Awesome!
-My Hebrew midterm wasn't necessarily a piece of cake, but it definitely favored those of us who regularly do our homework.
-It is barely 10 a.m. and I have already attended my last class of the day.
-There is a new episode of C.S.I. online, at CBS.com for me to watch.
-I don't have classes again for nine days. I do have to write a paper and a midterm over the break, but ten hours working at the Y will help me focus on that so that we can have fun times at Jordan's house later in the week.

Money Trouble

So, I have this work study job. Or, at least, that's what I thought. This afternoon, I received an email from the PTS Financial Aid Office that the job I am currently working is not work study, that I do not have work study. The problem is that I've already worked at least eight shifts. That's forty hours that I may or may not get paid for depending on whether I can straighten this out with the school. Another problem is that work study was definitely included in my financial aid package, so it makes no sense to me that suddenly I don't have it.

I was supposed to work tonight, but I called my supervisor to talk about the situation and we decided that it was best for me not to come in again until all of this is straightened out and we know that I'll be paid. If I'm not going to be able to do that job, I don't know what I'm going to do. I really need work, but positions on campus are hard to come by and non-work study positions would require more hours and, generally, a car.

If you pray, please lift me up. Thank you!

Things I Hate To Do When I'm Sick...

-be awake
-move from my bed
-eat food

On Friday night, I had a tiny sore throat. It didn't seem like a big deal. I thought it might just be an allergic reaction to inhaling cigarette smoke.

Woke up Saturday morning, still had a sore throat, but it wasn't that bad. However, as the day progressed, my sore throat got worse, my body became achy all over, and I developed a headache and a fever. I spent most of Saturday afternoon and evening curled up on my newly acquired papasan couch, drifting in and out of feverish sleep. Jordan (who never gets sick) brought me ginger ale and crackers since I couldn't make it to dinner. He even risked getting whatever I had by staying with me for a while.

Sunday was more of the same, except with a hacking cough that was awful enough to prompt my neighbor to ask if I needed any medicine. No, no medicine, thank you. I'll just let it run its course. I felt better enough to read for my classes, but not better enough to stir from my room much.

It's the third day now...I can tell it's coming to an end, but I still have to get through the congestion and residual cough. Should be an awesome time to be among other human beings. I can't wait for the looks that range from why-are-you-here-among-the-living to I'm-so-sorry-do-you-need-some-ginger-ale?

Which leads me to a final question: Who on earth taught our mother and their mothers and their mothers that ginger ale was good for sickness?

Twenty-Six

My birthday was a lovely time. The Barnes Foundation was beautiful. Almost every room is dominated by Renoir, whom I enjoy a great deal. It took us about two hours to go through the entire gallery because there are only about 20 rooms. An amusing tidbit for all of my fellow seminarians, the gallery is on Lapsley Lane. (tee hee)

After our gallery tour, we went to Murray's Delicatessen for a nice lunch. I had grilled cheese and latkes. It was yummy, but a little overpriced. Of course, it was my birthday, so Jordan paid without complaint and we enjoyed our food.

I took a nap in the afternoon. Unintentional, but so good. While I was sleeping and Jordan was supposed to be running, he was actually out buying and decorating a cake for me. I don't know if the gathering at Lydia's house was originally intended to be for me, but it turned into that. There was cake and cookies and more cake.

All the Facebook, MySpace and Blogger greetings were wonderful as well. Thanks to everyone for making my birthday a good day.

Shamless Self-Indulgence

My birthday commences in less than one hour. Other than purchasing an iPod, I can't remember what I did to celebrate last year. My best guess is that Emily and I went out to eat or something.

This year, Jordan and I will be going to an art gallery in Philadelphia, called the Barnes Foundation. According to the site, "the Foundation is home to one of the world's largest collections of Impressionist, Post-Impressionist and early Modern paintings, with extensive holdings by Picasso, Matisse, Cézanne, Renoir and Modigliani." Since Impressionist and post-Impressionist art is my favorite, I'm very excited to go.

Unfortunately, they don't allow any photography in the gallery. Maybe I will use some of the birthday money that my Grammy sent me to buy a few postcards.

When we return to campus, our married friends, Lydia and Jeb, are having people over to meet their parents and enjoy some pastry... It should be a fun day all around!

SNOW DAY!

Okay, it's not really a snow day, it's more like an ice day, but, regardless of that, Princeton Theological Seminary has granted us a day off from classes. Mind you, I really enjoy most of my classes this semester and don't mind attending them, but there is still something about a snow day that makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

I don't think I've had a snow day since high school. In Watertown, we were prepared to deal with large amounts of frozen precipitation, so we were more likely to have "cold days" because the temperature and wind chill would actually make it dangerous for children to walk to school or wait at a bus stop. Snow was no problem, we practically had a plow per street to deal with a little white stuff.

It is funny how hearing the "no school" announcement can still make me feel a little giddy, wondering what I am going to do with all my newly free hours. Unfortunately, I think I'll still have to work tonight, but the next seven hours are sitting in front of me like a beautifully wrapped gift. Perhaps I should get some homework done... ;)

Instead of wishing you a happy Valentine's Day, I will wish you all a happy Snow Day!

Emotional Schemotional

I've often been accused of being unemotional. Reacting to news, good or bad, is tough for me. What it boils down to is that I don't want to react the wrong way, so I react no way at all.

What I've discovered is that no reaction is the wrong reaction in many cases, especially when friends are sharing terrific news like "I'm getting married!" "We're having a baby!" "I got a promotion!" No matter what may be going on inside me, my standard reaction is, "That's nice. Want a piece of gum?"

Last night, Matt, Evan, Daniel, Jordan and I were sitting in Applebee's enjoying some half-price appetizers. (Yay quesadilla for $2.50!) Since Valentine's Day is coming up, Evan and Daniel started talking about their long-distance loves, past Valentine's, etc.

Lately, Evan's girlfriend has been putting a little pressure on about getting a ring. (Evan intends to propose at some point, but she wants it sooner rather than later...) This conversation prompted a story from Daniel about a college friend who proposed to his girlfriend in Prague. Apparently, the guy set the whole thing up well in advance and managed to surprise his girlfriend with a love poem, which was planted behind a brick in the Charles Bridge four months earlier, and his unexpected presence and a ring.

Previously, such stories would have made me say, "Awww, how cute" and then I would move on with the conversation. Last night, though, the only woman with four men, I began to blush and involuntarily grin and feel butterflies in my stomach. What an inconvenient time to become a girl!

So, maybe I used to be such a jerk about good news because I was jealous. I suppose that's a possibility which I have to face. While I'm dealing with that, though, if you have some good news, Kate is available for girlie reactions.

I Don't Like the Vibes

The Chick Corea concert was enjoyable. He is a fantastic pianist and, fortunately for me, the experimental bent he's known for didn't show up last night, so I didn't feel dumb trying to enjoy something I didn't understand.

Unfortunately for me, his partner, Gary Burton did show up. It's not that Mr. Burton didn't play well. He got several standing ovations, so I'm sure he did. It's that I think the vibraphone sounds like it should only be used for cartoons. For the first few songs, it didn't bother me, then the monotony of the sound starting rubbing me the wrong way. Jordan said the same thing at intermission, but by the end of the performance he'd grown to appreciate them again...lucky Jordan.

Mr. Burton, if you read this: It's not you...it's me.

When we walked over, I thought I might be under-dressed, but then Chick came out on stage in a pair of baggy jeans, a greyish t-shirt, a large, flannel, short-sleeved button down and what appeared to be sock feet, but later proved to be boat shoes. In his introductory comments to the show he told us to use our cell phones if we wanted and to take as many pictures with flash as we pleased, contradicting the recorded message played moments earlier.

My favorite pieces were Native Sense, played in the first half of the program, and Tango of 1992, played in the second. Native Sense had a fabulous piano part that consisted of lots of banging and bass notes. Tango of 1992 was playful. Every now and then you could pick up the traditional tango tune that always makes me think of a lady in a tight dress with a long-stemmed rose in her mouth and an up-do.

I think I'm developing my mother's inability to sit through movies, concerts, or anything that lasts more than an hour, though. At intermission, I was ready to go; not because I wasn't enjoying the music, but because I kept thinking of other things that needed to be done. Of course, we didn't leave and our patience was rewarded when they played a song based on Cruella Devil as one of their three encores.

I would give the show a B+. Chick gets an A, Gary gets a B- for choosing a noisy instrument. A plain old jazz piano in a crowded bar would have pleased me better, but it was fun nonetheless.

A For Real Date

Jordan and I don't go on many dates. It's expensive, we're poor and both of us prefer to be in the comfort of our dorm rooms playing cards or Scrabble or watching a movie, anyway.

But, not tonight; tonight we are going to see Chick Corea in concert at the University. Jordan's into jazz and apparently, this guy is one of the (or maybe the) best jazz pianists in the world. JZ tells me that Chick has gotten experimental in the last few years. I hope I have enough musical savvy to make the $many that he spent on my ticket worthwhile.

When I was dating in college, me and the boy went to a piano concert as part of the free (to students) concert series offered at Houghton. About halfway through the performance, I noticed that my hand in the boy's was the only thing keeping him from falling out of his chair since he was fast asleep. It wasn't long after that we broke up. I'm not saying that we broke up because he fell asleep at the concert, I'm saying it's nice to have someone with whom I can enjoy art, music, and other activities that I enjoy and are better with a friend.

Two fire alarms at 4 a.m. on two consecutive nights + freezing weather + living on the third floor of the building = decidedly not awesome!

DMV: Accomplished

The Staten Island DMV is like 4 miles from the NJ/NY border. I left Princeton around 9:45 a.m. and arrived back around 12:20 p.m. Most of that time was spent in transit and very little waiting at the DMV.

All in all, it was a pretty painless experience...except for the $170 I had to spend on license, registration, gas and tolls.

But, the point is, it's done!

This Fortune Cookie Message Has the Strangest Implications...

"Alas, you are the apple of my eye!"

huh?

DMV Woes...Almost Concluded

I wrote about the trouble I was having getting my car registered in New York State over Christmas break. Well, after what could become a lengthy (annoying and expensive) trip to the Staten Island DMV tomorrow I should be able to put all that behind me.

If you pray, pray for me tomorrow. As an upstate NY resident, I have this image of "city people" that includes much sneering and little kindness, which makes me irrationally nervous about how this trip will turn out. And, more than the nervousness arising from my stereotyped images of how the Staten Island DMV employees will behave, I am worried that I will forget something that I need and have to make a return trip. I guess worse things could happen.

Lusting After Photoshop

For the past few years, I have been admiring the results of Photoshopped pictures on websites and blogs. Unfortunately, the program costs nearly $600 on Amazon.com. Not so unfortunately, you can download a free trial version to use for 30 days. So, for the past few days, I've been fiddling around with Photoshop. Here is one of my favorite results so far.


By clicking on the image above, you will be directed to a slideshow of all my Photoshopping. Oh boy!

What's With Today Today?

Today was the first day of classes of my second semester at PTS. Classes are looking good. It looks like I will probably be writing more lesson plans, but that's okay.

I found a job. Actually, a friend told me about a job and when I went to talk to the supervisor, she told me I could start Monday. Hopefully, it will be something that can segue into more hours in the summer.

I did Tae-bo before class and didn't die. It's part of my new schedule, which includes working out every day except Sunday.

I became a vegetarian who eats fish. The choices in the cafeteria aren't incredibly healthy and I thought avoiding the meat dishes would help me limit my intake of fatty foods and increase my intake of fresh veggies.

It's been a big day. It's been a good day.

I Hate To Even Link Them...

My pal Julie, over at the blog with the ever-changing name, wrote about "The Modesty Survey," an online survey to be taken by guys only. The survey has nearly one hundred questions about everything from bathing suits to tutus to laying on the floor.

I spent some time perusing the survey and got more and more indignant as I read things like:

• "Nude colored nylons are a stumbling block"
• "It is a stumbling block to see a girl lying down, even if she's just hanging out on the floor or on a couch with her friends"
• "Girls should always wear clothes that show little body definition (e.g., jumpers or loose dresses)"
• " Exposing the chest below the collarbone, even without cleavage, is immodest."

I am a fairly modest person. Mini-skirts are not for me, my shorts all hit mid-thigh or lower, and wouldn't show my cleavage even if I had it to show. I agree with a lot of the standards of modesty that this "survey" seems to be presenting.

However, I DON'T agree with calling something a survey when all the questions are asked in such a way that you already know the answer you should give. This phenomenon struck me the most in the Swimsuit category. The first questions says, " A one-piece swimsuit is modest." A few questions later says, "A tankini with a bikini-bottom is immodest." Clearly, the survey taker is supposed to answer "yes" to both questions.

Just like Julie, the language of the survey bothers me, too. The word "girl" is clearly diminutive and makes me think of prepubescent females. I don't believe that the survey creators meant to imply "female child" by using the word girl, but I do think they should have considered their language more carefully.

There is also a clear double standard built in. We are told again and again that men and boys are more easily stimulated visually than women and girls. While this may be true, there are standards of modesty that should extend to both males and females. Honestly, I think the difference is overstated because of the myth that women do not have sex drives.

Finally, this survey made me think of The Handmaid's Tale, by Margaret Atwood, which I highly recommend. In this story, women are forced to cover themselves completely. Rather than curbing the sex drive of men, it makes them excited over things such as exposed ankles and wrists. Obviously, this book does not represent reality, but I think we need to remember that humans are innately sexual beings, we don't need to see exposed flesh to get excited.

I'm not advocating walking around naked, but I do think we need to be careful about how we send messages about modesty. We need to couple the message of modesty (for both men and women) with respect and love for our good bodies, in order to remind ourselves and others that we don't cover up because our bodies are evil.

I'd love to hear your reactions and comments on this survey and my evaluation of it.

Polar Dip

Thirty-four degrees Fahrenheit, the perfect temperature for a swim! At least, that's what Sadie, the wonder-pup, thinks. Yesterday, Jordan and I took her hiking for a couple hours at Green Lane Reservoir. You would have thought that she was in heaven running along those trails. Jordan's brother takes her there several times a week. She knows the trails and we can let her run ahead without too much worry. Anyway, she really likes being with her people, so it's unlikely that she would ever run away.

At the beginning of the trail, there are woods on both sides. Sadie went in search of a stick that we could throw and she could chase. She has the silly habit of finding sticks that are at least three feet in diameter and five times her length, so we have chisel a stick of suitable length out of the ones she brings. She's probably just trying to demonstrate her incredible strength.

While we use a hacksaw to hew a stick out of the huge limbs she brings us, Sadie sits on the trail and waits for us to stop being so slow. She gazes up at us sympathetically. Probably thinking about how slow humans are at everything.

After the first mile or so, the trail continues along the bank of the reservoir. Sadie LOVES water. Every time she ran ahead of us on this portion of the trail she would come back with her legs wet just a little higher up each time. Finally, Jordan made her "stay by" because she was soaked all the way up to her chest. Fortunately, the weather wasn't freezing or it would have been necessary to hustle Sadie out of there and I'm not very good at hustling on rocky trails.

As it was, we just got her away from the water and let her sprint up and down the sides of the ravine. In the time it took us to walk up one side (panting the whole way and taking a rest at the top) Sadie had already run down and up and around and played a game of fetch with a bear and run down and up again about thirty times. By then, she was dry just from the 3000 BTUs she was throwing off and we were practically dead from the thirty foot climb.

Since we had already been hiking for about an hour and a half, we decided to turn back and follow the trail home. We were tired and thirsty and ready to eat some lunch. Sadie was still running ahead, bringing us gigantic sticks to throw and chasing every shadow that moved in the woods. She had more energy than when we'd arrived.

Our assumption that Sadie would suddenly recognize her exhaustion and fall asleep immediately upon our return to the house was foolish, to say the least. Just moments after we flopped on the couch with tall glasses of water, Sadie jounced up to us holding her ring toy in her mouth with a look that said, "Time to play now?"

Fish Dish for Fish

Since yesterday was pay-what-you-wish day at the Philadelphia Museum of Art, Jordan and I decided to head out after church and take the train to Philly. We missed the 9:51 a.m. train by about thirty seconds, so we killed the next hour at Dunkin Donuts. Mmmmm...white hot chocolate.

We arrived at the 30th Street station around noon, ate our bag lunch, then walked directly to the PMA. Jordan and I both like the Impressionists, so we wandered around that area for a while.

There was an alcove in the contemporary art collection dedicated to Mircea Cantor, who was born in 1977. Four years older than me and she already has her art displayed in the PMA...

One of my favorite parts was the special exhibition of silversmiths which included this fish dish. Clever!

For more pictures of the stuff I enjoyed, including two unique renditions of the four seasons, click on the picture below, which features Jordan standing next to a miniature parking meter. What do you suppose you would park next to this thing? (Maybe there is a video camera set up nearby to catch people's reactions...)

P.S. Some day, try eating a hard pretzel while looking at a digital clock. Seriously trippy!

Music Meme

I got this from Katherine.

Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud (or...not), and press play. Use the song title as the answer to the question. NO CHEATING.

How does the world see you?
"My Sweet Prince" - Placebo (prince?)

Will I have a happy life?"
"Matilda Mother" - Pink Floyd (wtf?)

What do my friends really think of me?
"Sister Amazing" - Taxi Doll (This is a no brainer!)

How can I make myself happy?
"Invitation to Understanding" - MxPx (Honestly, I can't believe I have this band on my player.)

What should I do with my life?
"These Thousand Hills" - Third Day (huh?)

Will I ever have children?
"Distance" - Schiller

What is some good advice for me?
"Furnace Room Lullaby" - Neko Case & Her Boyfriends

How will I be remembered?
"God of Wrath" - David Crowder Band (I do like the OT.)

What is my signature dancing song?
"Adam & Eve" - Ani DiFranco

What do I think my current theme song is?
"One More Addiction" - Natalie Imbruglia

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
"Show Me Your Glory" - Third Day (so true)

What song will play at my funeral?
"Help Me" - Johnny Cash

What is my day going to be like?
"Bobcaygeon" - The Tragically Hip

Finished.

Friday, 7 a.m. - Confession and Forgiveness paper - check!
9 a.m. - Old Testament final - check!
3:30 p.m. - Education 101 paper - check!
Saturday, 9 a.m. - Hebrew final - check!
Thursday, 10 a.m. - Radical Reformation paper - check!

Now...10 days of no school work!

There Are Four More!

I didn't mean to let it happen... Emily watched 24 while I lived in Virginia with her and I tried my best to remain aloof while Jack was saving the world. And I did. I can honestly say that when I left Virginia, I had no desire or intention to continue watching 24.

But, last Sunday, around 7:30 p.m., we were having a dinner party at Lydia and Jeb's apartment (my newly-married, seminary friends) and in order to guarantee the attendance of several people, we had to promise they could watch 24. So, we watched.

And David Palmer's brother is president and Jack is back from Chinese prison and working with a former terrorist and that guy from Harold and Qumar is killing hicks and a nuclear bomb exploded really close to L.A. and THERE! ARE! FOUR! MORE!

...and it looks like I'll be watching Jack save the world one hour at a time this Spring.

Final Exams = Done!

The Hebrew exam went well. The translation wasn't terribly difficult, though there were a few things I didn't get. There were parts where I just guessed what a word might mean in the context of the phrase. Parsing verbs and writing out the paradigm charts was a piece of cake.

AND there was extra credit, of which I got 5.5 points. It was hilarious. Dr. Hutton (who's only about 5 years older than I am), translated four song titles into Hebrew. We got one point for translating the title properly and another .5 for naming the correct artist. I got "Oops, I Did It Again," by Britney Spears, "Walk This Way," by Aerosmith, "A Boy Named Sue," by Johnny Cash, but I didn't learn until lunch that "You Give Love A Bad Name" was done by Bon Jovi. Ah, well, such is life. Honestly, I don't feel bad for not knowing Bon Jovi's catalogue.

As a reward to myself for successfully completing two finals and two papers, I did just about nothing for the rest of the day. Knitting, reading a book, napping, watching football (stupid Eagles lost!), and eating Wegman's Chinese food (with free money that I got for referring Jordan to Wachovia!). It was a good day.

Maybe over the next couple of weeks, I will be able to write a few more substantial thoughtdul posts since I won't have exams and papers to think about. Stay tuned!

1 Hour 40 Minutes

= the amount of time I have before my final exam in Hebrew

7:20 a.m. = the earliest I've blogged in several months
4 hours = the amount of time I studied last night
1 hour 30 minutes = the amount of time I've already studied this morning

I think it's time for breakfast. Then it's time to ace a Hebrew exam!

New Photos

I haven't posted photos in a while, so I thought I would make a quick slideshow of my favorites from the holiday season. Click on the picture below to see a show of my 22 favorite shots from the past month or so.

It's Smooth Sailing From Here

My day so far:

6:30 a.m. - Woke up and wrote a works cited page for my Confession and Forgiveness paper
7:00 a.m. - Printed C&F paper and dropped envelope in the intracampus mail slot
7:15 a.m. - Last minute studying for OT and breakfast
9:00 a.m. - Began the OT final
10:00 a.m. - Finished the OT midterm
10:05 a.m. - Post-exam debrief in Jordan's room
11:00 a.m. - Returned to my room for a nap
12:15 p.m. - Ten minute lunch
12:25 p.m. - Returned to room and finished ED101 paper.
1:00 p.m. - Printed my ED101 paper and turned it in at the Education office
1:45 p.m. - Spent some more time with Jordan
3:00 p.m. - Hebrew review session

It's been quite a day. Not terribly hectic, but a lot of pressure. Getting to bed and waking up early was a good strategy for memorizing. I pretty much rocked the OT final, for serious. I thought I finished quickly, but Jordan left 20 minutes earlier than I did.

The ED101 paper might end up being a debacle. There were three sections that we turned in throughout the semester. Our prof gave us suggestions on the first two sections and we had the option of editing them to get a better grade. I was going to do that. After all, it can't get much easier than that to get a good grade. But, today, I decided that I could live with a B. My overachieving self had a few choice words to say to my content self about this decision. Eventually, my content self told my overachieving self to take a pill and won control of my legs, which then walked me straight over to Tennent to turn in the perfectly adequate paper. Hopefully, the prof won't get annoyed that I didn't care to raise my grade. I don't mean to be disrespectful...the grade just isn't that important to me.

Now time to study for Hebrew. I want to rock this one, too...and I think I can.

Writing Papers

One of the worst feelings in my world is sitting down to write a paper and realizing that I don't have anything to say. Currently, I am writing a paper for my education class. The second half was a piece of cake: write a lesson plan. Done! The first half is proving a bit trickier because I have to suggest an initiative for the church I wrote my case study on and justify that initiative using certain methods. Blah!

I've written three of five pages of the first section and am determined to complete the rest before dinner, but I just don't have anything else to say!!!

This on top of the fact that my OT final is tomorrow morning at 9 a.m. (I haven't studied a whole lot) and I have an 18 page paper (already written, but in need of another edit) due by 10 a.m... This is not going to be a good night.

Little Tortilla Boy

RGR showed me this video while I was at her house. Try it...you'll like it!

Tony vs. Paul

This video takes about five minutes to watch, but it's pretty awesome!

No Days Left!

I found this picture on Postsecret last Sunday and it made me think of how great it would be to see Jordan again. So, I saved it to my hard drive so that I could post it once I was with him again. Well, we were reunited around 2:30 p.m. yesterday, after eleven days apart. I must say it was wonderful to finally see him again. Life is indeed wonderful!

As an added bonus, I also got to spend some quality time with my lovely college roommate RGR and her husband. We all went to Sapsucker Woods, a local nature reserve, for a nice walk. Not too many birds, but it was pretty and I got some fun pictures (to be updated later...probably tomorrow).

John and Rebecca generously sent me and Jordan out to dinner as a thank-you-for-visiting/Christmas present so we could have some time together. We went to a lovely Indian restaurant, called Sangam Indian Cuisine. If you're ever in Ithaca and have a hankering for Indian food, I highly recommend it.

That's all for now. Needless to say, I'm an incredibly happy girl.

Gainful Employment

When I decided to leave work and start seminary, I knew that money was going to be tight. Having no money is all part of the school thing, after all. But, three years of expendable income didn't prepare me for this much tightening of the belt and now I'm in a little bit of credit card debt that, unless I get professors who don't require books to be purchased or I inherit money from a long lost wealthy relative, is going to persist until at least this summer. Not working was nice while it lasted and I don't really regret taking some time off to detox from the last job, but this coming semester, I am definitely going to have to find some work, preferably about 10-12 hours a week. Wish me luck!

Knitting Mania

I just finished knitting a scarf today. Hopefully, the person I made it for will enjoy it because it took nearly twenty hours. Of course, once I begin knitting, I can't put the needles down, so those twenty hours were spread over only two and a half days. Pictures will be forthcoming, but I don't want to ruin the surprise, just in case the intended recipient reads this post. (Hehe...I love a good secret!)

This evening, I returned to Michael's to get more yarn for another scarf. This one shall be for little ol' me. Selfish, I know, but I used Christmas money to buy it...so I don't feel too guilty. (Except that I probably should have used that money for bills of some sort...bah!) Anyway, I'm going to play around with a new stitch and see what I can do. What a way to procrastinate.

Knitting is the one crafty hobby that I've consistently enjoyed in the past ten years. It's relaxing and quick. I can hold a conversation or watch a movie while doing it. And, in the end, there is a lovely something to give away or to keep and enjoy. If you're looking for something to while away the hours until you see your boyfriend again or a way to avoid writing a stupid paper for a class you hate...I highly recommend knitting.

Three more days...

The Height of Laziness

Okay, who invented this? I mean, seriously, an automatic ice cream cone?

Part of the online description: "By the way, there's no extra charge for the holstein patter, and if you're on a low carb diet, don't worry. With this, there is no cone to eat, just ice cream." (Bad grammar on top of everything else that is wrong with this picture!)

A Walking Contradiction

I prefer self-checkout to cashiers, automated telephone systems or websites to customer service representatives, ATMs to bank tellers. If there is any way to complete a transaction with little or no human interaction, that is the way I choose.

At the same time, I decry the lack of community in American society. I'm irritated that people no longer smile and say hello on the street. It's bothersome that neighbors don't know each other's name, let alone enjoy each other's company.

I am a walking contradiction. I prefer the tidiness of non-human interaction. Clicking a box on my computer screen or punching a few buttons on my telephone is so much less demanding than going to a store or a bank. However, staying at home, staring at my computer is no way to foster the sense of community I desire.

Jordan has silently called me to account on this issue several times. He doesn't know it, but every time he goes to the bank instead of the ATM or exchanges a friendly word with a cashier, I am challenged to be more consistent. So, instead of making the typical New Year's resolutions to sleep more, exercise more, and eat less, I resolve to choose human interaction over non-human in as many situations as possible.

Happy New Year, everyone! What are your hopes for the New Year?

Not Adding A Single Hour To My Life

Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht have made their fortunes by giving people advice about how to deal with worst-case scenarios. They've authored books on everything from travel to dating and sex. There are games, calendars, cards, and even a TV series based around the theme of escaping dangerous situations.

I don't know about you, but I don't need any help imagining the worst-case scenario. In the summers after my sophomore and junior years of college, I traveled around in a fifteen passenger van with a drama team. Those of us in the back rarely wore seat belts. During long drives, my mind would wander, and I would think about what would happen to my body if we got hit by different types of vehicles at various speeds and angles.

Since Monday, I've been coming up with worst-case scenarios, all of which result in me never seeing Jordan again. I have to keep reminding myself that statistics are in my favor (after all, the average American male lives to the ripe old age of 80). Am I crazy or does everyone have thoughts like these?

Six Days...and Counting

I finished the first of three papers today. It was the longest one of the three, so it feels like I've really accomplished something. Maybe it's good or maybe it's bad, but the point is, it's done. Of course, it needs a little editing, but getting the words out is the hard part for me.

Jordan's been gone since Monday afternoon and I won't see him again until some time next Saturday. That means six more full days before I see his adorable face again. Honestly, I don't understand how people cope with long distance relationships. It's miserable, especially in the evening. After all, Ray Charles got it right when he said "nighttime is the right time to be with the one you love." We talk on the phone and send each other silly emails, but those things are a poor substitute for being together.

It began snowing early this morning and continued until almost noon. There are three or four inches of the stuff lying around outside. It's quite lovely and I'm glad it's here, but it's supposed to melt in the next few days.

Jordan's spending New Year's with a bunch of his friends from college, friends I would really like to meet, but I suppose there will be other opportunities. I'm spending it with a bunch of folks from my church that I see once or twice a year, should be a good time...

Don't Expect Forgiveness

This is my last post in a series begun here and continued here and here.

Robert Karen's last step in the process of forgiveness is to apologize without expecting forgiveness. To most people, such a notion is counter-intuitive.

Why apologize if forgiveness will not be the immediate result? Because the ability to offer forgiveness to one who has wounded you is part of a healing process. The other person may not yet be able to acknowledge that what he or she did was hurtful. The offender may not know that they caused you hurt unless you tell him or her. Communicating your feelings can begin the process of reconciliation.

Karen goes on to suggest that sometimes one should make an apology even when one feels like the other's offense was the more egregious error. "I won't apologize until _____ does."

Why apologize if you were not the only offender? Because sometimes restoring a broken relationship is more important than holding on to our hurt feelings and righteous indignation. Karen would never tell someone to move to this stage of forgiveness without being ready, but sometimes considering the dearness of the offender can make one ready.

As I've suggested before, Christians should live a lifestyle that is always moving toward reconciliation. Such a lifestyle would necessarily include a willingness to take the first step toward forgiveness and reconciliation. We can certainly hope that our apology will bring healing and forgiveness, but we must allow the other time to work through his or her emotions just as we allow ourselves time to do so.

I assume that everyone who reads this blog can think of a situation in which he or she has been offended. Can any of you remember a situation in which you felt yourself to be the more injured party and yet the importance of the relationship led you to make the first move toward healing? Can any of you remember a situation in which you apologized but the other person wasn't immediately ready to forgive? Share some stories.

More Woes Yet

According to GEICO my options for my car are as follows: 1) Switch everything into my mother's name so that she can insure the car or 2) move my car to New Jersey. Neither of these options is feasible because: 1) I have a loan on the car so it must be registered and titled in my name and my mother cannot afford to refinance the loan in her name or purchase the vehicle from me and 2) my mother needs the car and I can't afford to insure it in NJ.

I don't know what to do and, to top it all off, I'm sick and need to write three papers.

Sorry for all the complaining, but I'm sick and I have a lot of schoolwork to do and I miss Jordan and that's what blogs are for...

DMV Woes: Part Deux

The situation isn't quite as woeful anymore because I have a fabulous boyfriend who is willing to drive three hours roundtrip to retrieve my passport and social security card from my dorm room. He doesn't have to do such a thing, but he didn't even hesitate to say he would. I still don't know if it will all work out so that I can get my registration completed up here, but I am more hopeful than I was when I wrote my post yesterday...

DMV Woes

My Virginia inspection and registration expire at the end of January. No big deal...the plan was to register in New York while home for Christmas. The problem is that New York State requires about fourteen different documents to verify my identity in order to do anything at all with my car and all but one of those documents happen to be locked in my dorm room in New Jersey.

I know...I could have looked up what I needed online, but I didn't. And now, I have to figure out some way to get my stuff from school up here...

Green Christmas

There's no snow here in Watertown. It's been cold and a bit blustery, but no frozen precipitation. Jordan and I drove through mile after mile of alternately drizzly and misty rain on our way up here Friday only to find ourselves locked out when we got to my mom's house.

I showed him around the area on Saturday and Sunday. He got to see good old Wescott Beach where I spent many a summer day in my younger years. I took him to Thompson Park to see the city from above and to River Walk to see the always swollen Black River. He met my church people yesterday morning. We watched some Christmas movies and played lots of cards and, this morning, we both made out like bandits.

Now...he's gone. He left around 4 p.m. in an attempt to avoid getting caught in snow or traffic. This is the first time we'll have been apart for more than 24 hours since we began dating. And there isn't even any snow on the ground to make it a little less sad.

On the Road

Jordan and I are finally heading for home today. Classes are over and finals don't begin for three weeks. I don't plan to blog much from my mom's house, but I guess we'll see.

Have a merry Christmas, everyone!

'Tis the Season

I received my fourth Christmas card of the season today and it was quite a delightful treat.



This card was designed by the lovely Abigail, who likes to show off her little family over at Shotsnaps when she isn't trying to keep up with her three girls under the age of five.

Emotional Monotheism

This is the third in my series of posts about forgiveness, begun here and continued here. The second post, dealing with complexity, began the exploration of the idea of "emotional monotheism." I didn't use those particular words, but any hint of allowing another person to possess complex character traits moves toward this idea.

Robert Karen describes emotional monotheism as a state in which "[a]ll things, good and bad, are possible...it is a fragile state that is easily lost..." (73). Karen goes on to say that those who have reached emotional monotheism live in a "country of love...in this country all feelings are allowed, even hateful feelings...we don't have to leave this country because of the things we feel" (74).

It is in this state that are able to allow others to be complex. We realize that someone can love us and hate us at the very same time because we are loveable, but we sometimes do unlovable things. The very fact that we "live in a country of love" is what allows us to recognize our hate and anger, deal with it effectively, and move on. Love doesn't take away the other feelings, it gives us a lens through which we can rightly view those feelings.

If any group of people should live in a country of love, it should be the church, but I think that Christians have a blurry view of that country's landscape. They want that country to be perfect, for everyone to look pretty and be good. The problem is that people don't always look pretty and they are not always good. We need to take up residence in a country of love that allows for honest confession of who we are. And we must remember that who we are and who our friends are and who our families are might be ugly and hard to deal with, but love will help us through it.

Hmmm...how's that for a sermon?

The Fam

I love this picture of Jordan's family. In fact, I just love Jordan's family. They sort of fulfill my image of how a family should be with all the quirkiness and all the loving each other and wanting to be around each other. It's fun to hang out with them because they've already begun to incorporate me into the circle.

It's worth clicking on the pic to see the larger view if only to see how his grandmother (second from the right) is dressed. Eesh! I'm 25 and I wouldn't be able to pull off those knee high boots!

In this picture from left to right (relation to Jordan in parentheses): Jordan, Rebecca (cousin), Jesse (brother), Daniel (cousin), Mike (uncle), Leslie (aunt, married to Mike), Grandma Atkin, Sarah (mom). Taken December 17th, 2006 at Aunt Marlene's house in Eastern Pennsylvania.

Christmas Madness

On our way to a party at Jordan's Aunt Marlene's house, we were driving through a rather lovely neighborhood with cute houses and big yards, when we happened upon the outrageously gaudy display of Christmas decoration pictured here:

I'm all for some tasteful Christmas decoration; a few strands of lights, maybe some Christmas balls in the trees out front. If you have small children, I can even understand getting a little more silly with flashing colored lights. But this! This is just disturbing. (Click on the image above for a few more shots.)

The amount of time, money and energy spent to create this monstrosity can never be regained. It makes me think about the things on which I waste my time, energy and money. Maybe if my wastefulness was so easily visible I would be more ashamed and do something to counteract it.

Anyone think I'm overreacting or that I'm right on?

Spring Classes

I am officially done with registration for my second semester classes. I will be taking:

• Introductory Biblical Hebrew, Part II - I've thoroughly enjoyed the first half, hopefully the second half won't disappoint. As long as Dr. Hutton keeps breaking out games and his Yoda voice, I think it should be alright.
  
• Daniel Interpretation and Exposition - It only seemed right to take a Seow class. Not only does he have the entire Bible memorized in like eighteen different languages, not only did he write a widely used Hebrew grammar, he's funny to boot!
  
• The Old Testament, Women, and Cultural and Ecclesial Diversity - Can you say "three hours of Katherine Doob Sakenfeld, president of the Society for Biblical Literature, every Tuesday afternoon"? Who wouldn't want to take this class?
• Cultural Hermeneutics: Ideology, Power, and Text Interpretation - Jordan and I will be in this class together. We will not be comparing grades or working on group projects together. Dr. Blount let me out of NT101, that already gives him a few points.
  
• Systematic Theology I - This is the only required class I couldn't get out of this semester. It's a shame, too. I'm not looking forward to it.
• Speech Communication in Ministry 2 - Okay, so this is also a required class, but my prof is fantastic, so I wouldn't want to get out if I could. Anyway, it's only 1 credit.

Looks like it will be a heavy, but fantastic semester. Lord only knows how I'll manage all this and a boyfriend and a job.

Hello, Winter!

It's difficult for me to contemplate Christmas when there's no snow on the ground, but PTS's Christmas formal, which took place on Friday, December 15th, sort of helped me to get into the spirit of the holiday. I didn't dress up, but I took pictures of plenty of people who did.

Click on this picture of Meghan and Rachel to see more photos of that night.

Happy Chanukah!

Me, Jordan, and some other friends celebrated the first night of Chanukah last night. It's fun to learn new traditions. We even sang the three blessings for the first night of the holiday.
Tonight, Lydia's having a Christmas party and we are going to burn the candles for the second night.

Way #132 to Freak Out Your Boyfriend

Kate: I keep dreaming about having babies. Last night I had three. I gave birth to them in my dream!

Jordan: Would you stop dreaming about having babies?!

Complexity Is Alright

I began a series on forgiveness a couple days ago. I'm exploring the four stages of forgiveness that Robert Karen sets forth in his book, The Forgiving Self, and how these stages relate to the Christian notion of forgiveness. Step One was "Acknowledge your anger / mourn your loss." Christians seem to have difficulty with this first step, moving onto forgiveness before any effort has been made to connect with feelings of anger or loss.

Step Two is not much easier. Karen encourages us to "allow oneself and others complexity of self." Essentially, we need to allow people, including ourselves, to be human. An individual human can be good and bad, beautiful and ugly, wonderful and awful all at the same time.

Karen describes the stark way infants see their world. There is the good world and the bad world. There is a good mama and a bad mama. The infant cannot reconcile the fact that these two mothers are actually the same mother, all the bad and good rolled into one complex package. As the infant grows, he or she realizes that there is only one mother who does good and bad things.

Like the infant, we must recognize that individuals are complex. Good people do bad stuff. Bad people do good stuff. There is no purely good or purely bad person on earth. It is important to allow for this complexity (in others and in ourselves) and stop believing that the caricatures we have of people fully represent who they are.

It is tempting for Christians to disown the "bad" in ourselves and villify it in others. We spend a great deal of time denying our ugliness and hiding it from our brothers and sisters in the church, ultimately, hiding it from ourselves. I would like to fully embrace who I am. I must embrace even the parts of myself that I would like to change because without the acknowledgment of who I am, I will never be able to become better.

So, we must allow ourselves and others to be more than cardboard cutouts. It becomes much easier to forgive when we realize that the person who hurt or offended us is still capable of good. This is especially important when someone close to us is the offender. We must remember that no matter how much they hurt us, they still love us.

SLURP!

Seriously, Cute Overload should be on everybody's blogroll!