Some say that silence is golden, I would like to take this opportunity to say that silence is difficult.It's BGLASS week at PTSem. BGLASS is a student organization, the goal of which is to provide a safe space for those on campus who are bisexual, gay, lesbian, transgender or heterosexual with questions about sexuality and spirituality. The acronym stands for Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian, and Straight (Seminarian) Supporters. Each spring, BGLASS sponsors a week full of events to raise awareness about issues facing the "queer" community and, as I already mentioned, this is it.
In the words of my very clever boyfriend, "I put the ASS in BGLASS." (We might even get t-shirts that say that next year ;). Anyway, today was the official, nationwide Day of Silence and as a straight supporter, I participated in the event. Each of us who participated carried cards with the following printed message to be given to anyone who questioned our silence:
"Please understand my reasons for not speaking today. I am participating in the Day of Silence, a national youth movement protesting the silence faced by lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people and their allies. My deliberate silence echoes that silence, which is caused by harassment, prejudice, and discriminaton. I believe that ending the silence is the first step toward fighting these injustices. Think about the voices you are not hearing today."I don't have any official position on whether homosexuality is a sin. That is an easy question for some of you to answer, but the answer no longer seems as obvious to me as it once did. If you must, you can chalk it up to my liberal seminary education, but I assure you that I was questioning a lot of my "answers" long before I arrived at Princeton. Anyway, right now, it seems more important to do my best to love people than to spend my time labeling their sin because I no longer believe that labeling someone else's sin for them is the most loving thing I can do... Perhaps it's wrong, but that's where I am.
So, today, I donned my t-shirt and shut my mouth. Unfortunately, my silence is not rare, so only the people who already knew what was going on noticed that I wasn't talking. Still, the experience was a lot tougher than I thought it would be. There was no real suffering involved, but it did spur some contemplation about how horrible it would be to not be able to express my needs to those around me. What if I couldn't tell my beloved how I felt because I knew that I would be ostracized, harassed, beaten, or even murdered? Generally, I'm not a sharing person, but there are some things that need to be told!
Being heterosexual, I don't know what it's like for someone to tell me that who I love is wrong, but I have had the experience of being told who I am is wrong and I don't want to perpetuate that pain in other people, who did not ask to be homosexual any more than I asked to have brown hair or my mother's hands. I choose not to force people to live in silence because they are different, that is why I was silent today.
6 comments:
How eloquent you are in your silence! It is interesting that you write about this so soon after I talked with a friend of mine. In many ways he is like me: early conversion, mission-minded, very definite experiences of God, Christian college, drinks sometimes a little too much, loves people, etc. But, he is gay and I am not (far as I can tell). I get an easier time in the church, for sure.
I went away from my conversation with him encouraged, that he had found a "gay-affirming" church. Hoping that he would find greater community, which I hope for myself. I certainly do not see this as a point of salvation. I can't anymore than I can believe that someone who has extra-marital sex is going to hell. Didn't Jesus reach out to that person? Behavior becomes a stickier point in my mind, but I think first and foremost I am also called to love. And I also have be experiencing God's love to love others. Sorry for the length of this...
I never discourage lengthy comments; leave them as often as you like. I do encourage letting me know who you are, but I understand that sometimes people don't want to be known in the blogosphere.
Given the tenacity with which people on both sides of this issue hold their opinions, it is difficult to move into the middle space of not-knowing and remain there comfortably for any period of time. If I'm being honest, I would have to say that I'm moving toward the accepting/embracing side of the spectrum because...well, see my next post.
Oh, it was me. I figured you'd just delete the comment if you didn't like it. Not meaning to really be anonymous. Just felt very exposed in my comments and the emotions that I was feeling for a friend. I'm reading a book on boundaries-I'm not sure it is helping.
Oh, and I am in a terrible mood! I can't be nice to anyone right now. And my family insists on pointing this out and being obnoxious. I love how brothers that are 7 years younger are SO much smarter than their older sisters.
right now, it seems more important to do my best to love people than to spend my time labeling their sin because I no longer believe that labeling someone else's sin for them is the most loving thing I can do...
amen.
Hi! Your blog is of particular interest to me because I'm going to attend PTS this fall. Actually, I'm starting in the summer with Greek. Thanks for sharing your reflections on the Day of Silence. I participated in it last year at my college. I thought it was eye-opening on a personal level, but I question whether it effectively protests the silence that people experience on a daily basis. As you said, I don't think people always noticed that I wasn't speaking. And only a small percentage of students at my school participated. Just some thoughts ... I still think it's a worthwhile event.
Glad to hear you'll be coming to PTS next year, Kelly. I'm signed up to take Greek this summer, too, so I'm sure we'll run into each other. I would encourage you to get involved with BGLASS when you get to campus. I think that the new moderators are going to be particularly interested in increasing awareness and the more people that participate the easier that will be to accomplish.
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