Where Were You When Kennedy Was Shot?


When you get all the people in my department together for lunch, conversation takes some inexplicably strange turns. Today, we discussed everything from the aftermath of Chernobyl to frequent flyer mile programs to the Grey's Anatomy season finale until we finally landed on 9/11.

People will always remember where they were on that day. It was the second day of Renee's honeymoon. Eric hadn't come to the office because he had to take his car to the mechanic's. Several people were already at the office before anything happened. Vinnie's friend was stuck in the traffic next to the Pentagon. The plane that hit there flew directly over her car. She watched as the jetliner hit the side of the building. Almost everyone remembered seeing the smoke as the headed home.

I was in Houghton.
It was a perfectly lovely day.
I was in a classroom on the third floor of the NAB
waiting for Kingdon's OT Prophets 1 to begin.
One of my classmates walked in and said,
"Two planes just flew into the World Trade Center."
Blank looks and some grunts of disbelief from the other students in the room.
"You're kidding...whatever."
"I watched it live..."

Dr. Kingdon arrived on time.
He asked if anyone wanted to say anything.
No one did.
Dr. Kingdon prayed...
then proceeded with class.

Richard arrived a little late.
He was trying to reach his mother in New Jersey.
His dad worked at the WTC on a fairly regular basis.
The phone lines were jammed and he couldn't get through.

There was an assembly.
I don't think we had afternoon classes, but that detail slips my mind.
What I remember is sitting in front of the big screen TV in the Campus Center Lounge
watching the constant replay of the crashes and eventual collapses.
I remember seeing people hurtling to their deaths from windows hundreds of feet off the ground.
I remember learning of the third and fourth planes.
I remember weeping over the futility of it all.
I remember thinking that I would never forget the day the world ended.

Where were you?

I Bide My Time While Biting My Tongue


Say you're having an informal departmental lunch for about ten people. The lunch is taking place in a room adjacent to the kitchen. Almost everyone in the office automatically detours to the kitchen for a beverage before entering the kitchen.

Given these parameters, would you place cold drinks in the lunch room AN HOUR AND A FREAKING HALF before the lunch starts?

I know I would. After all, it makes perfect sense: everyone I know loves warm soda drunk from cans and bottle. Also, the support services woman absolutely adores cleaning puddles from the middle of the huge lunchroom table. It's so convenient, even enjoyable and so totally her job.

Sitting At My Desk

Could fall asleep sitting up I'm so tired.
Why so tired?
I just don't know.

So...Grey's Anatomy


Denny died...I was prepared for that. The writer's blogs and foreshadowing in the show made it impossible for him to make it. At least he was happy for a while before it happened.

Izzie quit...I expected her to get kicked out of the program, but quitting also makes sense. It doesn't seem like getting rid of Katie Heigl would be good for the show. According to Emily, she still has a contract for next season. I hope that she sticks around and she and Alex get back together. He really does love her...you know how you can tell on TV.

I wanted to kill Cristina every time she walked away from Burke. She knew what she was doing was wrong and she kept doing it. Easy for me to criticize,
but I'm sure the writers meant for me to get mad at her, so I feel completely justified. I'm glad the Chief didn't give her any advice about "keeping her edge" because she already has enough sharpness.

Interesting that the Chief thought his affair was still a secret. Interesting that his wife would pull that card out at the moment she did.

I like Callie and I like George and I like Callie and George. I understood where George was coming from when he apologized to Meredith. Sometimes it's easier to ignore the consequences, which you know are inevitable, for a few moments of happiness.

Derek and Meredith had sex!!! Makes me want to vomit. He's married!! She's dating someone! It's just wrong. Anyone with any morals at all knows it's wrong. And...Addison is so great and she's really trying to make this marriage work. Most of the time I like her better than Meredith.

Derek doesn't get to try to stop her from leaving with the vet. He doesn't get to have any claim on Meredith unless he is going to go all the way with it...leave Addison and commit to Meredith. The only reason I think he should do that is because it would be better for Addison.

There is probably much rejoicing by those who desperately wish for Meredith and Derek to get together. They are happy that Derek is a faithless jerk and that Meredith is pursuing a career as a homewrecker. They think it was so romantic and lovely. I'm just sick.

Predictions for next season: Addison is totally going to find Meredith's panties on Derek.

Heresy Refuted.

Just to ease the minds of my readers... I have, in fact, seen "The Empire Strikes Back." To be perfectly honest, I was confused by the director's name and was too lazy to check if it was the Star Wars movie or another more artsy film.

Monday Morning Rant

So, lately, they have been giving us juice with our bagels on Monday mornings. Apparently, there are a lot of people (read: crazy women who pretend they're dieting only when someone might see) who share their 10 oz. bottles of orange juice. I mean really...give me a freaking break! So, instead of letting people go on sharing the ten ounce size, they are going to start buying 5 oz. cans of juice. Egad!! Makes me want to womit.

34 Of 102...I Suck!


I copied this list from Roger Ebert, I will now proceed to make the ones I have seen (*).

"2001: A Space Odyssey" (1968) Stanley Kubrick
"The 400 Blows" (1959) Francois Truffaut
"8 1/2" (1963) Federico Fellini
"Aguirre, the Wrath of God" (1972) Werner Herzog
"Alien" (1979) Ridley Scott
*"All About Eve" (1950) Joseph L. Mankiewicz
"Annie Hall" (1977) Woody Allen
*"Apocalypse Now" (1979) Francis Ford Coppola*
*"Bambi" (1942) Disney
*"The Battleship Potemkin" (1925) Sergei Eisenstein
*"The Best Years of Our Lives" (1946) William Wyler
"The Big Red One" (1980) Samuel Fuller
"The Bicycle Thief" (1949) Vittorio De Sica
"The Big Sleep" (1946) Howard Hawks
"Blade Runner" (1982) Ridley Scott
"Blowup" (1966) Michelangelo Antonioni
"Blue Velvet" (1986) David Lynch
"Bonnie and Clyde" (1967) Arthur Penn
"Breathless" (1959 Jean-Luc Godard
"Bringing Up Baby" (1938) Howard Hawks
"Carrie" (1975) Brian DePalma
"Casablanca" (1942) Michael Curtiz
"Un Chien Andalou" (1928) Luis Bunuel & Salvador Dali
"Children of Paradise" / "Les Enfants du Paradis" (1945) Marcel Carne
*"Chinatown" (1974) Roman Polanski
"Citizen Kane" (1941) Orson Welles
*"A Clockwork Orange" (1971) Stanley Kubrick
"The Crying Game" (1992) Neil Jordan
"The Day the Earth Stood Still" (1951) Robert Wise
"Days of Heaven" (1978) Terence Malick
"Dirty Harry" (1971) Don Siegel
"The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie" (1972) Luis Bunuel
"Do the Right Thing" (1989 Spike Lee
"La Dolce Vita" (1960) Federico Fellini
"Double Indemnity" (1944) Billy Wilder
"Dr. Strangelove" (1964) Stanley Kubrick
"Duck Soup" (1933) Leo McCarey
*"E.T. -- The Extra-Terrestrial" (1982) Steven Spielberg
"Easy Rider" (1969) Dennis Hopper
*"The Empire Strikes Back" (1980) Irvin Kershner
"The Exorcist" (1973) William Friedkin
*"Fargo" (1995) Joel & Ethan Coen
*"Fight Club" (1999) David Fincher
"Frankenstein" (1931) James Whale
"The General" (1927) Buster Keaton & Clyde Bruckman
*"The Godfather," *"The Godfather, Part II" (1972, 1974) Francis Ford Coppola
*"Gone With the Wind" (1939) Victor Fleming
*"GoodFellas" (1990) Martin Scorsese
*"The Graduate" (1967) Mike Nichols
"Halloween" (1978) John Carpenter
"A Hard Day's Night" (1964) Richard Lester
"Intolerance" (1916) D.W. Griffith
"It's a Gift" (1934) Norman Z. McLeod
*"It's a Wonderful Life" (1946) Frank Capra
*"Jaws" (1975) Steven Spielberg
"The Lady Eve" (1941) Preston Sturges
"Lawrence of Arabia" (1962) David Lean
"M" (1931) Fritz Lang
*"Mad Max 2" / "The Road Warrior" (1981) George Miller
"The Maltese Falcon" (1941) John Huston
*"The Manchurian Candidate" (1962) John Frankenheimer
"Metropolis" (1926) Fritz Lang
"Modern Times" (1936) Charles Chaplin
*"Monty Python and the Holy Grail" (1975) Terry Jones & Terry Gilliam
"Nashville" (1975) Robert Altman
"The Night of the Hunter" (1955) Charles Laughton
"Night of the Living Dead" (1968) George Romero
"North by Northwest" (1959) Alfred Hitchcock
*"Nosferatu" (1922) F.W. Murnau
*"On the Waterfront" (1954) Elia Kazan
"Once Upon a Time in the West" (1968) Sergio Leone
"Out of the Past" (1947) Jacques Tournier
"Persona" (1966) Ingmar Bergman
"Pink Flamingos" (1972) John Waters
"Psycho" (1960) Alfred Hitchcock
*"Pulp Fiction" (1994) Quentin Tarantino
"Rashomon" (1950) Akira Kurosawa
"Rear Window" (1954) Alfred Hitchcock
*"Rebel Without a Cause" (1955) Nicholas Ray
"Red River" (1948) Howard Hawks
"Repulsion" (1965) Roman Polanski
"The Rules of the Game" (1939) Jean Renoir
"Scarface" (1932) Howard Hawks
"The Scarlet Empress" (1934) Josef von Sternberg
*"Schindler's List" (1993) Steven Spielberg
"The Searchers" (1956) John Ford
"The Seven Samurai" (1954) Akira Kurosawa
*"Singin' in the Rain" (1952) Stanley Donen & Gene Kelly
*"Some Like It Hot" (1959) Billy Wilder
"A Star Is Born" (1954) George Cukor
*"A Streetcar Named Desire" (1951) Elia Kazan
*"Sunset Boulevard" (1950) Billy Wilder
*"Taxi Driver" (1976) Martin Scorsese
"The Third Man" (1949) Carol Reed
"Tokyo Story" (1953) Yasujiro Ozu
"Touch of Evil" (1958) Orson Welles
"The Treasure of the Sierra Madre" (1948) John Huston
"Trouble in Paradise" (1932) Ernst Lubitsch
*"Vertigo" (1958) Alfred Hitchcock
*"West Side Story" (1961) Jerome Robbins/Robert Wise
"The Wild Bunch" (1969) Sam Peckinpah
*"The Wizard of Oz" (1939) Victor Fleming

H/t to Kottke.

Update To The Car Fiasco

When I got home last night, I called Carl, the guy who had promised to have my car outside waiting for me when I got to Auto Stop. He had gotten sick and left work early and told one of his co-workers to leave my car outside. The person he asked to place the car outside also left work early and didn't tell anyone about my car. So, when I talked to Carl last night he said he would bring my car to my house since I wouldn't have time to pick it up tonight. This morning he called to confirm the address and ask where to park. After speaking to him, I called Harold, the front desk guy and discussed the situation. To make up for my six mile trek in flip-flops, my next oil change is on the house.

While I was pretty annoyed by the inconvenience and am now experiencing muscle pain and fatigue, I am pleased with the way the guys over at Auto Stop handled themselves and will be glad to give them my business in the future.

The Worst Thing That's Happened Since I Moved To Virginia

I'm going to a wedding in Buffalo later this month, so I thought it would be a good idea to take my car in for tire rotation and an oil change. No problem...I found a coupon for a "spring maintenance package" that included both these services for under $50.

I dropped my car off around 8:30 and it was done by 11 a.m. I was at work and wouldn't be able to make it to the shop until after they closed, so the guy who worked on my car said that it would be parked outside with the keys under the driver's side mat. Fine...I got home around six, and to save cab fare, walked my needing exercise ass to the body shop about 2 and a half miles away.

The walk was rather pleasant...I didn't even mind when I got lost because there's little difference between 2.5 and 3 miles. I made some random observations that I stored to blog about, but they were all thrown out of my mind when I arrived at the body shop only to find that the door was closed and my car was inside!!!

I walked down a few hundred feet just to see if they had hidden it on me, but to no avail. Just to make sure I wasn't hallucinating, I pressed my panic button and heard my car's horn echoing off the inside of the garage walls.

There was a woman leaving the building next door. (Being stupid, I hadn't brought my cell phone or my wallet...just my license and my car keys.) I asked her if she knew the guys at the shop. She did not. I asked her with tears streaming down my face if she would give me a ride home. She looked at me like I was crazy. "There's a bus." No money. "Is there someone you can call?" I don't know anyone's numbers because they are on my cell phone and all of my friends are a million miles away right now. *look of utter impotence* Nevermind, I'll walk (away in tears, you jerk!).

So, I walked the 2 and a half miles home...uphill (I'm not even kidding). By the time I got home, I was so dirty and sweaty that I had to take a shower to feel okay again. My fingers were puffy like sausages that are about to split their casings. My mouth was so dry I was producing glue rather than saliva. I called the guy who told me my car would be outside. He's going to bring it to my house tomorrow. I'm also going to call Auto Stop and nicely request that I get either a discount or my next oil change free. Honestly, some of the worst service I've ever experienced.

Yes, Folks...

Bibles do come in a spring line now.

Please, someone...anyone...


Couldn't someone just shoot Paula and Randy and put us out of our misery?

First of all, David Blaine is an idiot, not an artist.


Secondly, Naveen Andrews (pictured above) has a cockney accent!!!

Right Now

At this very moment, I am skipping choir rehearsal. There's no reason for me to skip it, I just wanted to, so I did.

Not only did I skip choir, I went to McDonald's, got chicken strips AND a caramel sundae, and I've been working out an average of once a week lately.

Other than eating junky food, I've done nothing but play on myspace and watch television.

Does anyone else ever feel like they have a self-destruct button that's already been pushed.

No Free Rides

I'm just beginning to realize what not having a car at school will mean. Visits to friends will be nearly impossible unless I want to spend lots of time on buses. Going home for vacations will require finding a ride with a classmate. Running to Trention for a Rita's Gelati on a whim will be completely out. Awww...

It will also mean no insurance payments, no money budgeted for skyrocketing gas prices, and no worries about scheduled maintenance. WOOT!!!

My mother is going to use the car while I'm at PTS. I will still be responsible for the car payments, but I will also have a car waiting for me when I get done. It's a blessing not to have to think about buying a car when I'm broke just out of school again. And, hopefully, it will be a blessing to my mother whose current car is getting about 13 miles/gallon.

Beauty Is Truth

I like my iPod naked. Apple made it so lovely that it seems a shame to dress it up. Even in the clear hard case I bought, it's natural beauty is hidden. In the neoprene case for working out, it's not even recognizable. Someday, perhaps Apple will make a durable faceplate
that doesn't scratch when you look at it. ;)

WARNING! Common Sense To Follow

In the past few days, I have been reminded that the outcome of my day is almost entirely dependent on my expectations. I expect a day to go well or badly, it will. Some mornings I wake up to the neighbors' music that is too loud for 7 a.m. in a house shared by strangers and I get all pissy and I have a pissy day because I can't let go of the early morning bitterness. Other days, I listen to good music on the way to work, smile at people on the Metro, and have a generally good day because I've made a conscious decision that no one can ruin my mood.

I'm ashamed to admit that the pissy days are a bit more frequent than the happy days, as is evidenced by my bitter diatribes on Livejournal. Believe me, I don't want to be a bitter, sarcastic, angry person, but I often don't even notice it's happening until I'm ranting to Emily at the end of the day.

Today started out as one of the pissy days. I woke 45 minutes earlier than necessary becuase the neighbors were listening to some guy talk on the radio (WAY TOO LOUDLY!). I got in the shower earlier than normal and was able to take time straightening my hair because Emily had to be at work at some crazy hour this morning. Getting an early start allowed me to make some eggs with hot sauce for breakfast. My Metro ride was uncrowded and uneventful and my randomly shuffling iPod played Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture for me. Sounds like a mostly good start, eh?

Then I got to work and was welcomed by a stack of 27 submissions that needed to be copied. No problem! I have a system that makes copying these things a breeze and in my nerdy way, I like implementing that system. However, the stack of work was accompanied by a phone message from La Super. I don't even remember how many of these submission packets I copied and sent last year, (it was probably around 250) but La Super decided that she needed to leave me a three minute message explaining the process!! I know it's not a big deal, I should just take it in stride, but sometimes I just want to scream something like, "Do you think I'm an idiot??!!"

But I held my tongue, as per the usual, and chalked it up to experience. Then, I went about the multiple hours of copying and stamping with an intentional bounce in my step and ignored the implications (that I am a moron and can't remember how to do anything) of that phone message. Since then, it's been a pleasant day. What do you know about that?

Crying Fool

I'm beginning to wonder if I have some pent up emotional energy. Every Sunday, at church, I find myself getting choked up; tears form, my nose starts to run, and I concentrate on not bursting into sobs.

I haven't had a good cry in a long time. The last time I can really remember letting go was about 3 months into my current job. I made a major mistake and had no idea how it happened... Anyway, I started crying and every time I got close to being calm, someone would see my red shiny eyes, ask me what was wrong, and I would be off again.

Crying in public is not my thing. It makes me uncomfortable whether it's me or someone else in tears. Most of the time, I rather prefer to be alone when I cry because, I assume that crying makes everyone as uncomfortable as it makes me. I'm sure that's probably not true, but I can't get past it.

Only two times since my childhood have I felt comfortable crying in the presence of others.

The first: I was a sophomore in high school at a youth retreat with several friends. (The retreat was called "Moral Combat." How's that for a laugh?) We were at an evening gathering. The speaker's message about evangelism had plunged a knife into my heart. I had been a Christian for more than a year and I hadn't made any effort to share my new faith with my mother or my brother. I mourned and wept and my friends prayed for me. No one seemed put out and no one urged me to calm down or told me that it was going to be alright, they just let me mourn my sin and cry out to God until I was done.

The second: I was a junior at Houghton and had just finished my second viewing of Schindler's List. My first experience with this movie (nearly 7 years earlier) had left me relatively unmoved, but the second time I viewed it, I was struck with such despair. There was nothing I could do. These horrible things were already complete and no one could fix it. I lay in my bed and sobbed for nearly an hour. Rebecca sat next to me the entire time, not trying to comfort or calm, she was just there and that was enough.

After I have a good cry, I need a long nap, but then I'm in a better mood for days or weeks after. Perhaps some day I will be able to convince myself that it's alright to cry when the tears come since they just don't come that often. I'll learn that it's alright to be vulnerable. I'll cry and be a better person for it.

Antonio Banderas: My Hero

Last night, Emily and I went to see Take the Lead. We had a little arrangement: I did a little dance each night; in exchange, Emily paid for a movie about dancing and suffered through it. She wasn't a fan, but it was exactly what I was expecting and I LOVED it.

I read some reviews that said it was "plot heavy." HA! Maybe if you consider Disney animated movies plot heavy. I thought it was a little "plot schizophrenic." They tried to introduce too many plot lines and none of them went deep enough. Boy with a drunk dad, girl with a hooker mother, teen love triangle, angry principal, dance teacher with a dead wife. They scraped the surface and nothing more.

Anyway, that was my only complaint. The movie was joyfully hokey and included a whole lot of teenage stupidity and corny dancing scenes. Not to mention the two middle-aged black women two rows ahead who chimed in loudly with their commentary, the man behind us who actually started counting off the dance steps along with the characters in the movie and laughed (and snorted) too long and too hard at the mildly funny parts, and Emily's complete disgust over the fact that I had roped her into what she considered a terrible movie.

It was laughable as a piece of art, but every aspect of the evening was entertaining. Anyway, Rufio was in it, how can you go wrong?

UPDATE: If you choose to view the cheesy film, you should also take a look at the documentary it's based on: Mad Hot Ballroom. I have added it to our Netflix queue.

Completely Lame...I Know

Rebecca (my college roommate) and I have been emailing all day. Talking about everything from my plan to sell my bed to teenagers with boob jobs. Her last email simply said, "k, going!! pray for a safe trip for me - love you!" That bit of love from a dear friend gave me a lump in my throat.

I LOVE YOU, TOO, MY TOON!!!

**BANGO**

Last night, I was reading Isaiah 53:10-12. Verse twelve goes like this: “Therefore, I will give him a portion among the great, And he will divide the spoils with the strong, Because he poured out his life unto death, And was numbered with the transgressors. For he bore the sin of many, And made intercession for the transgressors.”

While reading this particular passage, I got distracted (in a good way). I started wondering what the Jews in Isaiah’s time thought he meant. These people atoned for their sins by killing hundreds of thousands of animals each year. As Christians, we look at the phrase “He bore the sin of many” and think, “Duh, Isaiah’s obviously talking about Jesus.” But the Jews might have thought, “What the crap!?” (Yes, this is exactly what they thought. EXACTLY!)

Then, my brain went in another direction, wondering what it must have been like for those first Jewish Christians. Where Christians see Jesus in the OT, they could have seen just about anything. Then this fella Jesus shows up and says it’s his show. Holy! Freaking! Cow!

Anyway, I think it would have been amazing. Growing up in a culture that hopes and prays daily for a Messiah, probably believing that the Messiah will bring about political salvation, then **BANGO** Messiah comes on the scene. He’s not what you thought he would be, but he’s promising so much more than a political kingdom. What a shock. What a wonderful shock...hope fulfilled.

Not that following Jesus isn’t an adventure at any time in history, but just imagine being that close to the turning point. Getting in on the ground floor, if you will. Suddenly seeing the real meaning behind the words… Maybe that’s what heaven will be like.

God Or The Girl: The Final Decision

On Sunday, I spent about four hours watching DVRed episodes of God Or The Girl (a show on A&E, which I blogged about here). All in all, it was an interesting series. It seems like the producers did their best to be respectful of the young men and their families. For non-Catholics, like me, it was a fascinating glimpse inside American Catholic culture. Growing up in Watertown, NY, where we had like eight gazillion Catholic schools because of the large Irish and Italian populations, I had a lot of friends get confirmed, but I'm pretty sure none of them ever considered exchanging sex for priesthood.

It must be a lot harder for Catholics to choose a "religious" life, considering the number of sacrifices such a choice includes. I can't even imagine, at this point in my life, deciding to give up the option of getting married or have children of my own. And that's not even the only sacrifice that priests and nuns and monks have to make. Needless to say, I am happy to be a Protestant.

At the end of the series, Joe and Mike decided against the priesthood, Dan postponed his decision and renewed a relationship with a girl at his school, and Steve, announced his intention of entering seminary to become a priest. To be honest, I was rooting for them all to follow Mike and Joe's lead. I wanted all of them to decide that the priesthood wasn't where it was at. I wanted them to get married and have sex and babies. Intellectually, I don't believe there is anything wrong with choosing a celibate life. In fact, I know there are people who feel called by God to be single for a lifetime. Still, there is something in the very fiber of my being that revolts against the concept. I know it's not wrong, but it feels wrong.

Anyway, I think A&E should do a follow-up in a few years, so that we can see where all these guys end up. Maybe I'm the only person who would be interested, since I feel an unhealthy connection with people I see on TV, but it would be great to find out how these decision pan out in the long term.

I wonder if such a show about young women considering the religious life would even be possible. I think I'm going to look up some statistics on women entering convents v. men entering seminaries and monasteries. I'll get back to you on that one.

I Am Officially An Idiot...

I posted here about Craig Bob's Out of Fellowship podcast for April 1, 2006. Looks like Craig Bob is the type who likes to find out who's linking to him. I didn't realize until he commented that he did the podcast on APRIL FIRST!! Yes, I put the date in my post. I was very careful and took the time to look it up, but because no one I know really gets into the April Fools' Day thing, I never made the connection. Not to mention, I was listening to the podcast like a week ago.

Anyway, looks like Craig Bob got me. I guess I was a little confused when he continued the OOF podcasts.

J.J. Abrams Is At It Again

What About Brian? is a new show on ABC, Monday night at 10. So far, there have been three episodes. Since TV allows me to avoid getting a life of my own, I'll try almost any show. (I even watched a few episodes of The Swan, just to give it a chance.)

I've been enjoying What About Brian? except for one plot line that just makes me want to burst. You see, there is this young married couple. In the picture to the right, they are the couple in the bottom left-hand corner. They have been married for thirteen years and have three young daughters. Apparently, Deena feels like she missed out on life because she's only slept with four men. She proposes to her husband that they should try an "open marriage." Dave, her husband, makes it pretty clear that he's not into that, but she insists and, at the end of last night's episode, she had sex with another man in the back of her mini-van!!!

I don't think I can keep watching because I can't handle the idea that this woman, who has a wonderful, loving husband, is willing to endanger her family just because she is dissatisfied with her SEX LIFE!!!

My Favorite Thing About Africa

For the first few days I was in Tanzania, I knew there was something different, but I just couldn't figure out what it was. Not until we arrived at our campus in Masumbo and I had a few days to process my surroundings that I realized I was missing the electric hum of technology. Sure, there were plenty of electrical devices, but they were not surrounding us. I didn't have a laptop and a cell phone and an iPod and a television and an air conditioner and electric lights all humming in my ears. It was peaceful.

Today, I was sitting at work, with my headphones shoved in my ears, as usual. I began to feel antsy...restless. I removed my headphones and immediately felt better. Silly, really, but I was feeling pressure to keep up with my technology...to use my life and time to maintain the machines that own me.

So, I've decided to fast from my iPod for a couple days. I updated it when I got home, I'm charging it and I'm not going to use it again until Friday, at the earliest.

Some time this summer, I would like to go on a retreat. Perhaps go for a weekend in the woods.
So, does anybody want to leave the world and all our gadgets behind for a few days and spend some time camping, reading, etc.?

Something Hit Me!!!

So, I was listening to Out of Fellowship this afternoon. During the April 1, 2006 episode, Craig Bob was discussing the fact that he is "returning to fellowship," and will, in fact, be taking a position as a worship pastor at a large church. Ironic, just a bit.

Anyway, at the end of his ironic announcement, Craig Bob went on to say that he "has a heart for the affluent." As soon as he said this bit, I began laughing. I couldn't help it. I know, I know... The rich need the gospel as much as the poor, so, obviously, someone has to minister to them.

But all I have to say is, I certainly hope I am called to minister to the affluent some day. ;o)

Overwhelmed

The blogosphere is beginning to overwhelm me. My own thoughts about things to write on are also getting heavy. I want to talk about pacifism and the shape of the church and so many other things, but I just can't focus on one thing long enough to get a good post written.

The hardest part is that this whole thing has become a monologue. I'm not begging for comments, I just wish that my blog was part of a community rather than just being my ramblings to myself.

Maybe I will just read other people's blogs and think for a few days... unless something really hits me and I have something valuable to say about it.

Some Quality Podcasts

This week I've found some really quality podcasts;two "Christian" and one not at all Christian.

Let's start with the not at all Christian one. It's The Daily Purge with J. Michael Haas. This guy is totally gay and a great storyteller. His style reminds me a bit of Phil Hassey. They almost have the same voice, even! Don't worry, Phil, I'm not doubting your sexuality. The podcast is put together really well, too. It seems almost professional. Don't listen if you can't handle gay sex jokes. Most of the episodes are pretty long, too...so it's a commitment.

Next, we'll go with wtfwjd? Yes, it means "What the fuck would Jesus do?" This podcast is about ten minutes per episode and there's a lot of variety. Eli, the host of the show, is irreverent and funny and committed to figuring out what Jesus really would have his followers do. He's definitely focused on attracting a non-believing audience because sometimes he explains pretty basic things. (h/t to pomomusings)

Finally, the best one so far is called Out of Fellowship. I actually felt compelled to take notes while listening to this guy so that I could look at them later and compose some thoughts of my own. Craig Bob is a former worship leader who left the church about a year ago and has some interesting thoughts on what the church should look like. He doesn't call himself emergent...at least, he hasn't so far, but I would say his thoughts line up with that "philosophy." I'm going to write more about Craig Bob later, so I won't go on now.

All I can say is, "Listen to these guys!" and tell me if you're finding anything quality out there.

Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front

by Wendell Berry

Love the quick profit, the annual raise,
vacation with pay. Want more
of everything ready-made. Be afraid
to know your neighbors and to die.

And you will have a window in your head.
Not even your future will be a mystery
any more. Your mind will be punched in a card
and shut away in a little drawer.

When they want you to buy something
they will call you. When they want you
to die for profit they will let you know.
So, friends, every day do something
that won't compute. Love the Lord.
Love the world. Work for nothing.
Take all that you have and be poor.
Love someone who does not deserve it.

Denounce the government and embrace
the flag. Hope to live in that free
republic for which it stands.
Give your approval to all you cannot
understand. Praise ignorance, for what man
has not encountered he has not destroyed.

Ask the questions that have no answers.
Invest in the millenium. Plant sequoias.
Say that your main crop is the forest
that you did not plant,
that you will not live to harvest.

Say that the leaves are harvested
when they have rotted into the mold.
Call that profit. Prophesy such returns.
Put your faith in the two inches of humus
that will build under the trees
every thousand years.

Listen to carrion -- put your ear
close, and hear the faint chattering
of the songs that are to come.
Expect the end of the world. Laugh.
Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts.
So long as women do not go cheap
for power, please women more than men.

Ask yourself: Will this satisfy
a woman satisfied to bear a child?
Will this disturb the sleep
of a woman near to giving birth?

Go with your love to the fields.
Lie down in the shade. Rest your head
in her lap. Swear allegiance
to what is nighest your thoughts.

As soon as the generals and the politicos
can predict the motions of your mind,
lose it. Leave it as a sign
to mark the false trail, the way
you didn't go.

Be like the fox
who makes more tracks than necessary,
some in the wrong direction.
Practice resurrection.

from The Country of Marriage, copyright ® 1973 by Wendell Berry

Wendell Barry...becoming one of my favorites.

I Love Gadgets!

Just got the new case pictured at right for my iPod. This, along with my new sneakers, and some accountability with Juleann and the reality that I am attending a wedding in just over a month will hopefully give me enough inspiration to actually keep my constant resolutions to work out daily.

Something To Think About

Adam over at pomomusings recently shared the faith statement he wrote as part of his ordination.
Another item for my to do list.

To Be Or Not To Be...A Priest

I don't know if any of you have heard about the recent A&E reality mini-series, God or the Girl, but it seems to have caused quite a bit of controversy. From the little bit that I've watched, the title seems to be more of a publicity stunt than anything else. It's actually about four young Catholic men who are trying to discern whether they are called to be priests.

Two of the four men are in pretty serious relationships with women. So, they are technically choosing between the priesthood and marriage, but it's not as if they are choosing between women and their faith.

I don't have a whole lot to say about the show as I haven't watched a whole lot of it, but I am DVRing the entire series this coming Sunday, so I probably have more thoughts on the show after I watch the entire thing. Most of the people who have given their opinions seem to think this show was respectful to the church and the young men.

For now, if you're interested, here are some articles about it:
from the Wahington Post,
and FOXNews,
and Spero News,
and a review from Variety,
some thoughts from The Tidings,
finally, the take from Catholic Online.

Blogging About Blogging

Recently, I was reading an essay by Tim Bednar at e-church.com. The essay itself was riddled with repetitive ideas and absolutely HIDEOUS grammar, but it was informative and understandable despite the rawness of the writing

Juleann’s recent post about blogging reminded me that I had wanted to post about Tim’s essay. It wasn’t completely related, but I did learn that those email/LJ/myspace surveys (the ones that everyone fills out and only three people read) are only one example of a meme.

According to Merriam Webster Online, the definition of a meme is “an idea, behavior, style, or usage that spreads from person to person within a culture.” Blogging itself could be considered a meme. “I blog because my friends blog.” “I have a myspace profile because my friends do.” You get it… Wikipedia has a more lengthy article about the origin of the term. (I haven’t read it all, but the writer/s seem to think that evangelical Christianity is a meme. Maybe I’ll have to check that our later.) You can read that on your own time, if you are interested in proving what a dork you really are.

Anyway, back to the real point of this post. Tim Bednar’s essay, entitled “We Know More Than Our Pastors,” addresses the way many people of faith (he deals particularly with Christians) have left established forms of religious practice and pursued spiritual growth through other avenues, specifically through blogging and other forms of electronic communication. It’s not that they want to leave their faith behind, they just don’t see their faith in the ceremonies and rituals they have been told represent it. The internet allows these people to find each other and create new worship styles to stimulate their spiritual growth. Community isn’t left behind. In fact, the resulting community is often more genuine, open, and mutually edifying than that found in most traditional churches.

The interaction amongst people in the worldwide church, made possible by new technology, is simply incredible. Any question one might have, someone else has talked about it already or you can start a new conversation. We have instant access to people facing the same struggles we are; A worldwide classroom discussion has been established. It’s encouraging to read about the questions, struggles and thoughts of like and unlike-minded people. It helps me to clarify my own thoughts and inspires me to contemplate new ideas.

Tim also points out that, as a body, bloggers have a wealth of knowledge that could never be rivaled by a single pastor or even a pastoral staff. Bloggers may not be the most educated theologians, but they tend to be more in touch with reality. We (I presume to include myself) write about our life experience and how faith works itself out in the real world.

One of these days I’m going to come up with a blog roll that includes some of my favorites. Today is not that day. Thanks for reading to the end!

UPDATE: Ha! Found Nic Hughes talking about Memes.

Northern Circuit

When I woke up, memories of Tanzania were swirling through my mind. Perhaps it was the sound of birds outside my window. Maybe it was the sound of rain pattering in the trees. Whatever it was, I couldn’t stop thinking of one particular place that we camped. I can’t even really remember when we camped there. It seems like it would have been near the beginning of our Northern Circuit that took us within spitting distance of Mount Kilimanjaro, maybe even the first night of that trip.

We stayed at a camp near a river, run by an Englishman. There were toilets and showers, but they were sort of scary and full of spiders since they were only partially enclosed. Camp was a pretty loose term, anyway. It really only meant that the underbrush had been cut, there were a few chairs and tables available, and you had to pay someone to stay there.

The river was a bit murky (because of mud, not pollution). There were crocodiles, maybe even hippos, but some people decided to take a swim anyway. Dr. Arensen, against his wife’s better judgment, allowed the swimming. Barb sat at the end of the dock staring into the water as if she could ward off any crocs through concentrated willpower alone. As if Barb didn’t have enough to think about that weekend (what with 20-something stupid college kids to look after), Jeff, her oldest son, was visiting our group with his fiancée, a woman his parents had never met before.

It was a good start to a wonderful journey. Maybe one day I will be able to return.

HAPPY EASTER! Happy Easter! happy easter...

As a part of TFC Sanctuary Choir, I was given the opportunity to help lead worship in this Easter morning. I was given that privilege three times. By the last service we were all fading. It was rather astounding that we were still able to belt out the Hallelujah Chorus at the end of the third service. While I definitely enjoyed the experience, recouping from waking up at 6:30 on a Sunday morning required some extended napping this afternoon.

After participating in the mournful services on Thursday and Friday, it was wonderful to see the sanctuary decked out in flowers and green living things. Having never participated in other Holy Week services before, I don't think I ever felt the full effect of Resurrection Sunday. The stripping of the altar on Thursday and the snuffing of the candle on Friday made the light and beauty and celebration of this day feel lighter, more beautiful and more joyful than ever before.

Also, since I am an avid people-watcher it was quite interesting to see the different characteristics of the three different congregations that we led in worhip today.

The service at 8:30 a.m. was full of people who have known each other for years and can call each other by name when they are passing the peace. Their congregational readings sounded more unified and many of the congregants had the more commonly said prayer memorized. Most of the people were older, retired folks or families with small children or both together (three, sometimes four generations seated together).

The 10:00 a.m. was probably the liveliest crowd, maybe because it was the fullest service. I considered saying they were the most joyful, but joy manifests itself in different ways, and I know that those 8:30 people were definitely full of joy. Most of the folks there at 10 were regular attenders, many of them people I would normally see at the 9 a.m. service. I think we did our best singing in this time slot, but it's hard to tell from inside the choir.

The 11:30 service was full of late-rising regular attenders and people who attend church only on special occasions. Several cell phones went off, more people had frowny faces, several women were wearing Easter bonnets, and lots of children didn't have practice in church manners. I was thankful for having been able to concentrate on John's sermon during the first service because I would have been completely distracted from it in the third.

As John was preaching, especially in the third service, I couldn't help but think how strange the Gospel must sound to those who attend church only once or twice a year. It reminds me that the very first church service I attended was Easter Sunday 1995. I don't remember what I felt that day, but I'm sure there was some awkwardness. Obviously, it didn't deter me from returning. I pray that some of the people who came for the Easter spectacle were touched by the preaching, the music, the joy of the morning and will choose to explore what following Christ really means.

These observations also caused me to be thankful for the little community I've found in the choir. I get to sit next to the same people every Sunday. We're all in the choir, so we automatically have something in common. I feel comfortable worshipping alongside them even when tears fill my eyes and I find it difficult to sing. I'm grateful to God for giving me this little slice of community. I wish it could last longer, but will continue to cherish the time I have left with them.

Christ is risen! He is risen indeed!! Alleluia.

That Was The Plan

Sometimes I wonder why people get so upset about today being called "Good Friday."

I understand that it was a terrible thing for Christ to be killed. It is appropriate that we Christians mourn our sin that caused the horrific death of our loving God. He was stripped, beaten, mocked, spit upon, nailed to a cross. But remember that the crucifixion was part of God's good plan to make us whole again. Despite the terrible events that took place on the day Christ was crucified,
it was in fact Good Friday.

Maundy Thursday

Silence...

I've rarely experienced anything as powerful as the silence that ended our Maundy Thursday service. It was haunting and beautiful.

The lights were dimmed. Ramsey Gilchrist read the betrayal passage from Mark. Our beautifully decorated sanctuary was stripped to signify the stripping of Christ before the Crucifixion.

I wept.

New Music Wednesday

For anyone who is interested in some really good music,
I am hear to recommend some (some meaning one).

Tegan and Sara are great!
I heard one of their songs on Grey's Anatomy,
bought the whole album on iTunes
and I'm hooked!

Listen to "Where Does the Good Go?"
I'm not very good at describing music I like,
but this is good.
It's catchy and funky and the lyrics aren't stupid.

Try it, you'll like it.

Sweatin' the Small Stuff

We had choir practice tonight. Usually, it's on Thursday, but since we are singing at the Maundy Thursday service we had to practice tonight.

One of the women in our choir was concerned about an issue she considered of utmost importance. She was practically dancing in her seat it was weighing so heavily on her mind. Before Marv could get a word out, she dove into her question/request/demand(?).

"MARV! Should we talk about SHOOOOES??!!" Marv ignored her question and began rehearsal.

Later, before we rehearsed processing: "MARV! Can we talk about SHOOOOES!?!?"

At the end of rehearsal: "MARV! Should we talk about shoes? Can we just say BLACK, CLOSE-TOED?" *general murmurs of discontent and looks of disgust*

One fellow soprano protested, "I bought an outfit for Easter and it doesn't include black, close-toed shoes."

Marv's response was perfect! "You're all adults. I think you can choose appropriate shoes for an Easter service."

"NO FLIP-FLOPS, RIGHT?!!!" (Just a note: I'm the only choir member who ever wears flip-flops because I am the only choir member under the age of THIRTY!! but I would never even consider them a choice when we process, which we will be doing this Sunday.)

Anyway, I liked Marv's response. It is my sincere belief that if someone's worship experience is seriously affected by someone else's footwear, perhaps they need to refocus. Priorities, people!

Podcasts Wanted!

For the past couple of days, I have been trying to find some quality Christian podcasts. All of the music ones I’ve tried have been dismal. So far, all I have discovered is that Christian indie is nothing at all like secular indie. Naturally, I had assumed this would be the case, but I still had hope deep down in my heart that I might find some really good Christian music on podcast, maybe stuff that was just too good to be signed to a Christian label. (Cynicism, thy name is Katie. Don’t be fooled, I own every album of at least 10 different bands/artists who are signed to Christian labels.)

Anyway, I’ve also been less than impressed by the content of the non-music Christian podcasts. The choices are either Sunday sermons recorded and released to the public or random guys sharing their rambling thoughts on various topics. The second set of people are really making a solid attempt at filling a void, but I can only listen to a limited number of rambling diatribes by the same person before I want to cut my ears off. I enjoy the content, but the presentation could be improved dramatically if there was creative input from someone other than Random Guy. The worst part is that people start these things and then give up after 9 or 10 episodes. Where’s the commitment?!

The problem with this rant, though, is that I’m not contributing anything to the world of podcasts. Don’t worry, I’m not saying that I’m going to start a podcast because that would be the most boring podcast in the world. I wouldn’t listen to it, for goodness’ sake. But, if anyone in my reading audience knows of any really great Christian podcasts, please please please direct me to them. Even if they aren’t Christian, tell me. I am in love with my iPod and I need to feed it new things every day…and I just can’t afford to buy new music every day.

Haircut....of Doom!

For most of my life, I have had long, wash ‘n’ go hair. To me, wash ‘n’ go means "just-going-to-pull-it-back-into-a-messy-bun-so-why-bother" hair. Recently, I took the plunge and my most recent hair stylist gave me a cute short do that requires at least fifteen to twenty minutes of attention to look cute and not like the hair of a 15-year old boy who refuses to cut his mop top.

My morning prep time has increased from approximately ten minutes to about thirty. Okay, I can deal with that. I’ve gone through my girlie, taking-ages-to-get-ready phases… Twenty to thirty minutes doesn’t even compare to the hours I spent primping during those times. Believe it or not, there was a rather extended period of my life in which I did my nails every. single. day.

What I am having a hard time dealing with is being one of THOSE girls… One of those girls who has to carry an umbrella even when it’s barley sprinkling because even one drop of water will COMPLETELY RUIN the twenty to thirty minutes spent making her hair sleek and shiny. One of those girls who worries about walking too fast because she might sweat a little, once again bringing to naught the morning prep time. One of those girls I used to scoff at for being worried about what the humidity would do to her hair.

I hate styling my hair, but I LOVE how cute it is once it’s styled. I suppose that sometimes we have to sacrifice for the ones we love. And since I love my new hair, I will sacrifice my sarcastic scoffing and become the unthinkable…the girl using an umbrella when it’s not really raining.

Wise Words

"Worship is the submission of all our nature to God. It is the quickening of conscience by his holiness; the nourishment of mind with his truth; the purifying of the imagination by his beauty; the opening of the heart to his love; the surrender of will to his purpose - and all od this gathered up in adoration, the most selfless emotion of which our nature is capable and, therefore, the chief remedy of that self-centeredness which is our original sin and the source of all actual sin."

-William Temple

A Blast From the Past


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Emily Always Says I Should Work For The C.I.A.

Growing up, my favorite chapter book was Harriet the Spy. It’s a delightful book about a girl who wants to grow up to be a writer, so she carries a notebook wherever she goes and makes a valiant attempt to write down EVERYTHING she sees. This gets her into some trouble in sixth grade but that part of the story doesn’t matter right now.


…Moving on…

As a pre-teen, I wanted to be just like Harriet. I wanted to know everything and write it all down. Throughout junior high, high school, and even my first semester at college, this desire manifested itself in obsessive journaling. I would spend thirty minutes to an hour writing about my day every. single. night. I should blog some of my journal entries from that time. People would probably get a kick out of my entries about ketchup, etc.

Now, instead of traditional journaling, I spend thirty minutes to an hour a day blogging. I suppose it’s the same thing, but this way, I get to share my thoughts with the world (or, at least, the small part of the world that reads my blog).

As I go through my day, I am constantly noticing things and evaluating their blogworthiness. I observe tourists on the Metro, locals on the streets of DC, my co-workers. It’s like a never-ending stream of potential blogging/journaling.

One of these days, I am going to attempt some play-by-play blogging. I’ll write out all my random daily observations and then blog them. Maybe someone will get an insight into how my mind actually works.

Are you on the edge of your seat yet? I know I am.

I'm Going To Be Totally Emo...Right Now

There's this wonderful show on ABC, Sunday nights at 10 p.m., called Grey's Anatomy. If you're not already watching and completely addicted...you should be. It has lots of drama, plenty of sex, and George. George is a sweet, quiet, hard-working sort of guy. He's also cute, in a slightly dorky way. Since I love quiet, sweet, dorky guys, I am in love with George O'Malley. Since the beginning of the show, which has been on for almost two seasons, George has pined after the main character, Meredith Grey. One rainy night, they end up sleeping together. Meredith bursts into tears during their romp and George is heartbroken. Everyone on the show agrees that Meredith "broke" George, since she knew he was in love with her and she knew she was not in love with him, but she slept with him anyway. But now, wonder of wonders(!), George is moving on. He's dating a girl named Callie Torres. She's sort of tough, a little bit loud, and I LOVE HER!

On the most recent episode, in the very last scene, George kisses Callie. Generally, I am sort of squeamish about kissing and such on TV, but George kissing Callie just made my little heart so happy.

Now, before you start feeling vomitous about my ridiculoue TV obsession, let me explain why I am so happy for George. It's because I am George. I am the sweet, quiet, dorky girl that everyone thinks is terrific, but nobody (especially people of the opposite sex) really notices. BUT, Callie notices George and Callie is terrific. She sees all the things in george that make him a good man and it gives me hope that someday some man will notice all the qualities I possess that make me a good woman.

Don't get me wrong, my self-esteem doesn't rest on whether some man "sees" me. I'm pretty confident in myself and I've been told by many people that I am unusually resilient and well-adjusted. But that doesn't mean I don't long for a relationship and appreciate any encouraging indication that it's possible. I've done my fair share of pining and I look forward to the day that I have my own heart-stopping "first" kiss.

Worth Dying For

We believe in one God the Father, the Almighty,
creator of heaven and earth,

and of all that is, seen and unseen.

We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ, the only Son of God,
eternally begotten of the Father,
God from God, Light from Light, true God from true God,
begotten, not made, of one being with the Father.
Through him all things were made.
For us and for our salvation he came down from heaven;
by the power of the Holy Spirit he became incarnate from the Virgin Mary,
and was made truly human.
For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate;
he suffered death and was buried.
On the third day he rose again in accordance with the Scriptures;
he ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead,
and his kingdom will have no end.

We believe in the Holy Spirit,
the Lord,
the giver of life,
who proceeds from the Father and the Son.
With the Father and the Son he is worshipped and glorified.
He has spoken through the Prophets.

We believe in one, holy, catholic, and apostolic Church.
We acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins.
We look for the resurrection of the dead,
and the life of the world to come.

Amen

The Nicene Creed is the only creed accepted by all three major branches of Christendom:
Protestant, Roman Catholic, and Eastern Orthodox.

Famous One?

There is a song that we occasionally sing at church called "Famous One." It was written by Chris Tomlin, whose music I generally like. Here is the chorus:

"You are the Lord
The famous one, famous one, Great is Your name in all the earth
The heavens declare
You're glorious, glorious, Great is Your fame beyond the earth"

When we sign this, all I can think is, "Who cares if God is famous?!!!" Is fame now a positive character trait? Paris Hilton is famous...Is the paparazzi following God around now, forcing God's car off the road to get better pictures? God is certainly a bigger deal than Lindsay Lohan!

There are plenty of praise songs that I enjoy. They don't even have to be especially deep or profound for me to like them. Pump Rich Mullins Songs or Third Day Offerings and I'll be singing along at the top of my lungs in no time. Just cut out the nananas and the saying dumb things and the repeating the last line three times to conclude.

I admit that I'm cynical and maybe a little bit jaded. But, let's be serious...nanananana? NANANANANANA??!!

People tell me that some songs are just meant to be fun. Are fun and intelligence mutually exclusive? Shouldn't we use our minds in worship?

On a related topic: why are most worship services either contemporary or traditional? The Falls Church does a good job combining these two styles of worship, better than I have seen in any other church, but, combining generally means contemporary with a taste of tradition or traditional with a praise song thrown in. Let's get it together people...

Rant over.