Taco Bell: My Kryptonite

Last evening, after work, I tried to go to the library. As I should have expected, there were no parking spaces. There are never any parking spaces because our library has like three total and I'm pretty sure lots of people park there and then go to nearby restaurants. FREE PARKING! And no one can prove they weren't at the library (at least, no one's gonna try). I also didn't have money to park on the street because who the hell carries coins anymore?

Anyway, I didn't get to park, meaning I didn't get to get the books I reserved, meaning I was very disappointed. And, in my disappointment, I went to Taco Bell and bought myself dinner. Fast food is one of the things I've decided not to buy over the next six months. So, for the second time in 4 days, I broke my shopping ban.

Rather than viewing this as a failure and taking my normal fatalistic, fuck-it perspective, I'm trying to see this as a lesson. One of my triggers for spending (and eating) is frustration and disappointment. Last night, I did both.

Did it make me feel better? No.

Did it help me get closer to achieving any of my goals? Definitely not.

As I contemplated this situation, I started telling myself that maybe I need to ease into this ban a bit more, go easier on myself. The thing is, though, this ban isn't even really hard on me - the things I'm choosing not to buy are things I don't need and/or already have in abundant supply. So, instead of easing up, I'm going to learn this lesson about my behavior and do better the next time.

Also, I'll celebrate the fact that I've talked myself out of many purchases, including the books I'd like to get from the library... if there's ever parking. ;)

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