I eagerly anticipated casual Friday this week because it meant that I would get to wear the shirt from my most recent 5k - the 19th Annual Penguin Run - held in Buffalo, NY, to benefit Cradle Beach, a summer camp that serves disabled and underprivileged children in the area.
A few months ago, Danielle, a friend I've recently reconnected with over running, said, "Hey, here's a list of races. Pick one and we'll run it together." This was followed almost immediately with, "Oh, you don't live in Buffalo, do you?" Seeing it as a good excuse to make the seven hour trip to see friends, I chose a race, anyway, and planned a weekend away.
When people learned that I was planning to run a race in Buffalo in January, most of them looked at me with doubt in their eyes and said, "What if it's snowing? Won't it be cold?" Meh, whatever, a little snow and cold never killed anyone. At least, not quickly. Anyway, I've discovered that my sweet spot, temperature-wise, for running is anywhere between 10 and 50 degrees F. I don't mind bundling up a little and I put off A LOT of body heat. Even at 18 degrees with snow I've had to remove outer layers mid-run. At 50, I can wear capris and a tee and be completely comfortable. And snow coming down is actually fun as long as there's no ice.
Anyway, on the day of the race, there wasn't a cloud in the sky, the temperature was somewhere in the twenties, and the race was midday, so the sun was shining directly on all of us.
I'd convinced another friend, Kyle, with no nagging at all, that he should run with us. So, he and I headed over to the race around 10 a.m. for the 11 a.m. start time. As we were walking from the main building to where packet pickup was taking place, I heard someone yell, "KATIE!" and was suddenly being hugged by Danielle. While Kyle and I got our race gear, Danielle and her friend, Mike, headed out for a three-mile warm up. (Good for them. :)
As start time approached, I paced around the parking lot, then the banquet hall, then back to the parking lot getting more and more nervous about how I'd do. Finally, we were all directed to the start line. Danielle, Kyle, Mike, and I stood around the fringes, talking, laughing, and admiring the shirts of some fellow runners. Three guys had the best technical tees ever. Each was printed with a different animal - horse, wolf, and tiger - and not just a little print, I'm talking full shirt. We asked where they bought them but we couldn't get a straight answer. Guess they don't want the trend catching on. Hipster runners?
The horn blew right on time and we were off...sort of. It took a bit of time to get spread out and up to speed.
Danielle had agreed to pace me with her fancypantsGPSwatch. As we were getting started, she looked over and said, "We're at a 13-minute pace now." Given my 10:30/mile goal,we picked it up. We started passing people right and left. By about half a mile in, we had settled in with our crowd - the folks we'd stay with for most of the race.
In my neighborhood, I'm constantly climbing hills while training. One of the hills I do is actually rated on some objective scale of difficulty. Buffalo, on the other hand, is flat. The course had five feet of elevation - TOTAL! Five feet. Who even notices that when it's spread over a mile? Still, when Danielle told me we were doing under a 10-minutes pace and I felt good, I was shocked. Pulling back the pace to make sure I could finish strong was difficult because it felt so good to just go.
Around the mid-point, I could tell that Kyle - whose training amounted to three or four short runs the couple of weeks before the race - was getting antsy, so I told him to go ahead and just run. Danielle and Mike stuck with me, chatting, encouraging, and just being generally awesome running partners.
When I'm alone, I take walk breaks every 7-8 minutes. Danielle and Mike got me through quite a bit of the race without walking. In the third mile, I just had to take a couple quick walks - breathing hard starts to make me panic - but I was able to get moving again fairly quickly.
As we neared the end, Danielle asked if I wanted to open it up to get across the finish line. I wasn't sure if I could and I told her that. So, she said, "See that 45 sign up there? How about we pick it up after that?" "I don't think I can." We got to the 45, Kyle was there looking all relaxed from being finished for 3 minutes already, and Danielle sped it up. She and Mike both kept encouraging me that I COULD do it. You know what? They were right! It was only for a tenth of a mile but for that tenth, my pace was less than 9 minutes/mile!
My official time was 32:42. That's 2:30 faster than my first 5K, which I ran only two months before. The lack of hills combined with training and encouragement made a huge difference in my performance. It was so much fun to cross that finish line and know that I got faster! The best part is that every race and every training run is a learning experience and I'm getting better at knowing when I can push harder and when I need to back off.
After eating lunch in the crowded banquet hall, we took some impromptu camera phone photos, said goodbye and parted. Half an hour later, I was on the road home, glowing from my post-race euphoria. I'm still freaked out about the longer races I'm facing this year but I'm also confident that I can do it!
For the Ladies: Instead SoftCup - A Review
A disclaimer: I did receive a free box of Instead Softcups to try as part of the For the Love of the Run/Instead Softcup Challenge. That being said, the opinions expressed in my review are completely my own.An additional note for squeamish readers: There may be some moments in this review that are too much for you. If you need to, skip to the bottom for my review recap.
After I started running, I started hearing more about alternatives to tampons and sanitary pads. Most women can tell you that menstruation is not a terribly convenient or tidy process. Having one's period while running frequently and training at long distances, while using the "traditional" methods of period protection (such an odd term), is much less so. It can also get terribly uncomfortable - including the possibility of chafing in some of the worst places imaginable.
Even before I learned about the Instead Softcup Challenge, I had already purchased a sample directly from Instead. I've never been able to comfortably use tampons and was getting tired of ruining panties every month, so I was excited to try something new. The Instead Softcup website has a lot of information about use of the product and really thorough FAQs, so I'll focus on my experience with the product here. You can get your technical information from them.
Like many women, I can be a tad squeamish about my own body, so it took me a little while to actually try this product. I've used Softcup for two cycles now and am planning to continue into the foreseeable future. (Warning: skip to the bottom now if you're not interested in all the details.)
As with any new product, getting the hang of using it properly took a few tries. Within half an hour of inserting my first Softcup, I had to try again because I hadn't pushed it back far enough and I could tell that leakage was imminent. Once I figured out exactly how to place the Softcup (resting behind the pubic bone), all leaking stopped, except for when I used the bathroom. A friend who has been using this product for a while and Instead's FAQ section confirmed that this was normal. Also, during the heaviest days of my period, I have to make sure that I empty the Softcup a little more often to avoid tiny leaks that can result from overflow.
Taking out the Softcup without a mess is a skill that continues to elude me, even as I'm in the midst of using it for a second cycle. Removing the Softcup is simple enough, but I always end up with some blood on my fingers. For me, this is not a big enough drawback that I will discontinue use of the product, but it is less than optimal when using public restrooms. As I was traveling while first trying the Softcup, this issue presented some challenges. I am going to make a kit for Softcup use, to include hand sanitizer to use before inserting or removing the device and wet wipes for after (before leaving the stall). Many women may already keep these items handy; I am not one of those women.
I have done a variety of activities while using Softcup, including running and yoga. When it's inserted, I don't notice that it's there. I've never experienced any leaks as a result of physical activity even on heavy flow days. Compared to my experience with tampons (terribly uncomfortable/lots of leaks) and pads (leaks/chafing/smells), Softcup is incredible.
THE BOTTOM (oh, squeamish ones, you can start again here): Going forward, Softcup will be my choice for period protection (yup, that's still weird), especially when running. Not only is it comfortable and reliable, it's much more cost effective and environmentally-friendly (there are both disposable and reusable options) than the products I've used in the past.
Ladies, I'd recommend giving this product a try - whether you run or not. If you're interested, there may still be time to get in on the Softcup Challenge. Those of you who don't want commit to publicly discussing your period, respond to this post. I will order Softcup sample packs for the first five to respond before January 30.
Running Evangelist
I spend a lot of time surprising myself these days.
This week, at work, it happened again. Two co-workers and I were about to begin a meeting and one of them, Heather, mentioned the new sneakers she'd purchased recently. Actually, when she bought them, Heather posted on my Facebook wall that the shoes made her think of me. (That anyone would think of me when they buy athletic gear is a huge surprise in itself.)
Anyway, Heather went on to say that, after using the shoes to take her dog on a long walk, she ate McDonald's.
Without even missing a beat, I launched into something about how a lot of runners don't lose weight because they overcompensate for the calories burned during runs by eating too much.
The conversation continued for about ten more minutes along the same line. Heather or Sarah would make a comment and I would have some rejoinder about running.
Please don't misunderstand, I wasn't hijacking the conversation. I even made a couple of attempts to turn the topic back to work. I even said, "I have about five responses to what you just said but I don't want to keep us from our meeting."
By the end, I'd offered to run a race with Heather if she decided to take up running.
So, anyway, what on earth happened over the last few months that I have become "that person" - the one who can always find a segue into further conversation about running, the one who offers to add a race to her schedule to motivate a friend, the one who evangelizes for the cause of running, the one who is sometimes completely annoying?
By the way, if I ever do become "that person" around you and it's annoying the crap out of you, just let me know. I'll try to stop. Just give me some grace, though. After all, there's no one as zealous as a convert.
This week, at work, it happened again. Two co-workers and I were about to begin a meeting and one of them, Heather, mentioned the new sneakers she'd purchased recently. Actually, when she bought them, Heather posted on my Facebook wall that the shoes made her think of me. (That anyone would think of me when they buy athletic gear is a huge surprise in itself.)
Anyway, Heather went on to say that, after using the shoes to take her dog on a long walk, she ate McDonald's.
Without even missing a beat, I launched into something about how a lot of runners don't lose weight because they overcompensate for the calories burned during runs by eating too much.
The conversation continued for about ten more minutes along the same line. Heather or Sarah would make a comment and I would have some rejoinder about running.
Please don't misunderstand, I wasn't hijacking the conversation. I even made a couple of attempts to turn the topic back to work. I even said, "I have about five responses to what you just said but I don't want to keep us from our meeting."
By the end, I'd offered to run a race with Heather if she decided to take up running.
So, anyway, what on earth happened over the last few months that I have become "that person" - the one who can always find a segue into further conversation about running, the one who offers to add a race to her schedule to motivate a friend, the one who evangelizes for the cause of running, the one who is sometimes completely annoying?
By the way, if I ever do become "that person" around you and it's annoying the crap out of you, just let me know. I'll try to stop. Just give me some grace, though. After all, there's no one as zealous as a convert.
Thinner
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| Age 5: healthy weight |
Anyway, the real point of this post is that, as I run and do Pilates and practice yoga and lift weights, I'm getting thinner. Because I didn't weigh myself at the start and have only weighed myself twice since (most recently on Labor Day weekend), I don't know how many pounds I've dropped. I do know that pants that were embarrassingly tight in July are now comically huge on me. Form-fitting clothes, which I would have avoided as recently as September, feel good and look flattering today.
Not only has my body gotten smaller, it's become less jiggly. When I walk or run, I can feel muscles flexing and relaxing instead of an extra layer of insulation wobbling. (It could be just a dream but, if it is, it is a good dream.) Bones that used to be entirely hidden by extra flesh are now peeking through, promising to become even more prominent (in a healthy, not a disgusting, way) as I keep up the good work. Muscles that once needed much coaxing to appear hard and toned, now look flexed and ready to go when I'm just sitting or standing around.
There have been so many other benefits, too. My balance is much better - I don't spend half an hour after waking each morning trying not to trip over myself as my muscles get used to this whole moving thing all over again. My lungs don't scream from walking up one flight of stairs. My body is actually tired at the end of the day and, as a result, I sleep soundly and wake refreshed.
But, let me tell you a secret, for all its wonders, my changing body is a little scary, too.
I've been a "large" woman my whole life. I've seen pictures of a five-year-old me, in which I'm a healthy size, but I can't remember what that felt like. There were a couple times in high school and one time between college and grad school that I lost substantial amounts of weight. Most of those occasions involved either very little exercise at all or a staggeringly limited array of exercises (30-60 minutes on an elliptical every weekday for eight months and nothing else). Diet helps shed pounds but you can be thin and still jiggly. The elliptical helped somewhat with the jiggle but I'm surprised I kept up with it as long as I did since it was SO BORING.
After 25 years identifying as the fat girl, no matter how slender I become, she will always be a part of me. I know how to be the fat girl. In very many ways, it's comfortable to be her. This new, thinner, decreasingly-jiggly body is a strange land for me. Judging by the clothes I'm wearing, I'm about to enter territory I've never traversed, having mostly stayed around the borders of the land of Healthy Weight. It's going to take some time to understand the ways of the people here and become fully assimilated.
I will continue to question whether that size medium actually fits or if I should try to cover up the lump that just won't go away with something a little baggier.
I will be surprised when I see someone who weighs 150 pounds pack away half a pizza.
I will be self-conscious about (while, at the same time, proud of) the stretch marks that will remain on my arms, stomach, and thighs, no matter how much weight I lose.
And I will notice every bump or lump or bulge that might mean it's all coming back - maybe not forever but for a long time to come - because it always seems to happen slowly, when you're not paying attention.
I'll get there. Staying there, taking up permanent residence is the scary part.
They're Everywhere
You know how when you get a new car, you start noticing that EVERYONE has the same car you do? Well, since I began running, I've started noticing that runners are EVERYWHERE. I see them in the morning as I walk in to work, in the afternoon as I'm leaving work, along the road as I drive. Where I never see them is in my neighborhood where I run.
Weird.
I think I'm jonesing for a running buddy. Any slow pokes out there in Baltimore want to jog with me once or twice a week?
Weird.
I think I'm jonesing for a running buddy. Any slow pokes out there in Baltimore want to jog with me once or twice a week?
Go Away! (Wait! No! I Don't Mean You.)
This morning, I was contemplating whether I should do some yoga. Almost immediately, what I'd like to call the Gollum-part of my brain began questioning why I would want to do something so silly. After all, yoga makes me hot and sweaty, sometimes I look silly or fall over while I'm doing it, and it fatigues my muscles.For most of my life, I've identified as "non-athletic" and let myself off the hook for most non-required physical activity. And, as we all know, a body at rest tends to stay at rest. The longer I rested, the more reasons/excuses/justifications the Gollum-part gave me for continuing to do so.
But now, even though I know that I enjoy moving my body, that Gollum-part, full of reasons, excuses, and justifications, still makes a valiant effort to derail me from every workout. With the advent of my adult-onset athleticism, it has even added a few new lines to its repertoire.
"You ate so well today, you don't need to exercise, too."
"You ran 6 miles last night. Sure, yoga will stretch out your sore muscles and strength training will help you run faster next time but YOU RAN 6 MILES LAST NIGHT."
"Look how far you've come. Isn't the point you've reached good enough? Why don't you just take it easy? Forever."
Etc. Etc. Ad Nauseum. It's nasty little voice tries to soothe me into complacency.
As I listened to this script playing in my mind today, I felt disgusted that I was still listening to the Gollum-part. Then, confused by how my mind continues to fight something I know every bit of me enjoys. Finally, I made a decision.
From now on, as often as I remember, when the Gollum-part speaks up, I'm going to respond, "SHUT UP! You don't speak for me. I'm going to see what my body can do today. It might be a little. It might be a lot. But it's going to be something. Go away and NEVER come back!"
And, some day, just like in the Lord of the Rings, the Gollum-part WILL go away. Only, in my world, he'll never come back.
It's an imperfect metaphor. So sue me.
My First Official Race Recap (5K Edition)
I heard somewhere that there are more races run in the USA on Thanksgiving Day than any other day of the year. After all, what better way to assuage one's guilt for eating a ridiculous amount of calorie-rich food than to run hard before the marathon of eating begins?
Yesterday, I took part in this glorious tradition by running my very first race ever. I was looking for a 5k in November and, when I discovered that one of my running friends was, too, I decided to join her in whatever local race she undertook. So, Stacey and I ended up registering for the 40th Annual Millersville Turkey Trot.
I was feeling some race jitters the night before we ran. Falling asleep wasn't a problem but I woke up around 3 a.m., then again at 5 a.m., and, though I was able to doze off, I had a nightmare. My clothes were too small. I couldn't find the start line. My ID was missing! It was a mess. Fortunately, the actual race went very smoothly.
I arrived at packet pick-up around 8:15. There were a lot more participants than I expected. Last year, there were just over 500 finishers. This year, there were over 900!
When I got into the packet pick-up line, there were only about ten people ahead of me. By the time I got my t-shirt, there were about eighty behind me. Timed that right! Almost as soon as I had my shirt and bib, I turned around and saw Stacey. She helped me find the bathroom and showed me how to put the timing chip on my shoe (a process I somehow made ten times more difficult than it should have been).
We got to the start line in plenty of time but, due to the large number of participants, the race started about fifteen minutes late. While we waited in the crowd, we overheard a guy behind us complaining about how slow people and children mess up races. I started cracking up as he informed his friends that, from now on, he was only going to run "serious" 5K's. I sort of wanted to punch this guy's pretentious face, but I was also a little sad that he couldn't just relax and have some fun. I understand the desire to do your best but, holy crap, don't be a douche about it. (Btw, I abhor the word "douche," as an insult but, if you had heard this guy, you would have realized he was the reason it came into common usage.) Do they publish a list of "serious" 5K's? If so, I want to get one so that I can run slowly with an empty stroller in front of that guy.
Anyway, once we started, it was great. I felt like I was going my normal pace but, at my first split, I was only at a little over ten minutes. For me, that's phenomenal. There were some hills, so I tried to make myself slow down and I even took a couple short walk breaks, but at the two-mile split, I was at an 11-minute/mile pace and still feeling great!
I was amazed by the people I was able to pass or stay with through the entire course. My thoughts were not judgmental just rather amazed at how far I've come in three-and-a-half months. Just goes to show that fitness cannot be judged by looking at a person.
As I drew nearer to the end of the course, I desperately wanted to put on some speed but I just kept my pace until I knew I could pick it up and finish strong instead of pooping out just shy of the finish.
I crossed the finish line at 35:16, beating my goal time by almost a full minute. I was giddy! I grabbed an apple and hunted for Stacey's red shirt among the crowd. We posed for the picture above and then I spotted another friend, holding his daughter, among the spectators, looking for us to finish. He'd missed our triumphant jogs across the line but it was still great to see Stu and Isabelle and hear Isabelle say, "Good job, Kate!" (even if it wasn't until hours later).
Only the first 100 finishers got ribbons but I wore my new race t-shirt (after I took a shower) for the rest of the day and was proud to answer people's inquiries about how it had gone. I'm constantly amazed at and grateful for how interested and supportive people are of this new pursuit.
Now that I've officially "competed," I can understand why runners do this often and why they go for longer and longer distances. It's so cool to take part in an event with so many people doing an activity that can be very solitary. It's interesting and fun to push your limits and realize how much more you can do. But it all went by so quickly - that 35 minutes passed in the blink of an eye - so it makes sense that people, especially people who can finish 5K's in 15-25 minutes, would want a greater challenge, something that lasts longer, after putting in the hours of training required.
The verdict: I'm glad I've already got some other races on the docket. Woot! Can't wait to run with (or behind :) Danielle, Katie, and Rebecca in the coming months!
Yesterday, I took part in this glorious tradition by running my very first race ever. I was looking for a 5k in November and, when I discovered that one of my running friends was, too, I decided to join her in whatever local race she undertook. So, Stacey and I ended up registering for the 40th Annual Millersville Turkey Trot.
I was feeling some race jitters the night before we ran. Falling asleep wasn't a problem but I woke up around 3 a.m., then again at 5 a.m., and, though I was able to doze off, I had a nightmare. My clothes were too small. I couldn't find the start line. My ID was missing! It was a mess. Fortunately, the actual race went very smoothly.I arrived at packet pick-up around 8:15. There were a lot more participants than I expected. Last year, there were just over 500 finishers. This year, there were over 900!
When I got into the packet pick-up line, there were only about ten people ahead of me. By the time I got my t-shirt, there were about eighty behind me. Timed that right! Almost as soon as I had my shirt and bib, I turned around and saw Stacey. She helped me find the bathroom and showed me how to put the timing chip on my shoe (a process I somehow made ten times more difficult than it should have been).
We got to the start line in plenty of time but, due to the large number of participants, the race started about fifteen minutes late. While we waited in the crowd, we overheard a guy behind us complaining about how slow people and children mess up races. I started cracking up as he informed his friends that, from now on, he was only going to run "serious" 5K's. I sort of wanted to punch this guy's pretentious face, but I was also a little sad that he couldn't just relax and have some fun. I understand the desire to do your best but, holy crap, don't be a douche about it. (Btw, I abhor the word "douche," as an insult but, if you had heard this guy, you would have realized he was the reason it came into common usage.) Do they publish a list of "serious" 5K's? If so, I want to get one so that I can run slowly with an empty stroller in front of that guy.
Anyway, once we started, it was great. I felt like I was going my normal pace but, at my first split, I was only at a little over ten minutes. For me, that's phenomenal. There were some hills, so I tried to make myself slow down and I even took a couple short walk breaks, but at the two-mile split, I was at an 11-minute/mile pace and still feeling great!
I was amazed by the people I was able to pass or stay with through the entire course. My thoughts were not judgmental just rather amazed at how far I've come in three-and-a-half months. Just goes to show that fitness cannot be judged by looking at a person.
As I drew nearer to the end of the course, I desperately wanted to put on some speed but I just kept my pace until I knew I could pick it up and finish strong instead of pooping out just shy of the finish.
I crossed the finish line at 35:16, beating my goal time by almost a full minute. I was giddy! I grabbed an apple and hunted for Stacey's red shirt among the crowd. We posed for the picture above and then I spotted another friend, holding his daughter, among the spectators, looking for us to finish. He'd missed our triumphant jogs across the line but it was still great to see Stu and Isabelle and hear Isabelle say, "Good job, Kate!" (even if it wasn't until hours later).
Only the first 100 finishers got ribbons but I wore my new race t-shirt (after I took a shower) for the rest of the day and was proud to answer people's inquiries about how it had gone. I'm constantly amazed at and grateful for how interested and supportive people are of this new pursuit.
Now that I've officially "competed," I can understand why runners do this often and why they go for longer and longer distances. It's so cool to take part in an event with so many people doing an activity that can be very solitary. It's interesting and fun to push your limits and realize how much more you can do. But it all went by so quickly - that 35 minutes passed in the blink of an eye - so it makes sense that people, especially people who can finish 5K's in 15-25 minutes, would want a greater challenge, something that lasts longer, after putting in the hours of training required.
The verdict: I'm glad I've already got some other races on the docket. Woot! Can't wait to run with (or behind :) Danielle, Katie, and Rebecca in the coming months!
Races I'm Going to Run
08/17/13 - River Valley Run 10k - Baltimore, MD
09/01/13 - 1812 Challenge - Watertown, NY
09/14/13 - 9/11 Heroes Run - Arlington, VA
10/05/13 - Houghton Fun Run 5k - Houghton, NY
10/12/13 - Baltimore Running Festival 5k - Baltimore, MD
10/19/13 - Runner's World 5k AND 10k - Bethlehem, PA
10/20/13 - Runner's World Half Marathong - Bethlehem, PA
12/14/13 - Celtic Solstice 5-Miler - Baltimore, MD
04/08/14 - Hot Chocolate 15k - Philadelphia, PA
05/03/14 - Frederick 5k - Frederick, MD
05/04/14 - Frederick Half Marathon - Frederick, MD
09/01/13 - 1812 Challenge - Watertown, NY
09/14/13 - 9/11 Heroes Run - Arlington, VA
10/05/13 - Houghton Fun Run 5k - Houghton, NY
10/12/13 - Baltimore Running Festival 5k - Baltimore, MD
10/19/13 - Runner's World 5k AND 10k - Bethlehem, PA
10/20/13 - Runner's World Half Marathong - Bethlehem, PA
12/14/13 - Celtic Solstice 5-Miler - Baltimore, MD
04/08/14 - Hot Chocolate 15k - Philadelphia, PA
05/03/14 - Frederick 5k - Frederick, MD
05/04/14 - Frederick Half Marathon - Frederick, MD
I Love My Thighs
Never in my whole adult life have I been able to honestly say that I love my thighs. They and my upper arms have always been the two pieces of my body that I wanted to hide under clothing as frequently as possible.
But now, I'm saying it, loud and proud, "I LOVE MY THIGHS!"
Let me be clear - these parts are still wobblier than I would like. I'm working on that, not because I feel ashamed but because I want to see what they can become.
I love my thighs because they move me.
When I look in a mirror as I'm walking past, they don't jiggle. They are becoming more and more like the thighs I so admire in swimmers and runners that flex powerfully with each step.
These thighs of mine are evidence that I'm changing from the inside out and I'm proud of them and me.
I love that these thighs are one of the things that will carry me through my first race - this Thursday in Millersville, PA - hopefully, in a time I can hardly bring myself to believe is possible.
What's your favorite of your parts?
But now, I'm saying it, loud and proud, "I LOVE MY THIGHS!"
Let me be clear - these parts are still wobblier than I would like. I'm working on that, not because I feel ashamed but because I want to see what they can become.
I love my thighs because they move me.
When I look in a mirror as I'm walking past, they don't jiggle. They are becoming more and more like the thighs I so admire in swimmers and runners that flex powerfully with each step.
These thighs of mine are evidence that I'm changing from the inside out and I'm proud of them and me.
I love that these thighs are one of the things that will carry me through my first race - this Thursday in Millersville, PA - hopefully, in a time I can hardly bring myself to believe is possible.
What's your favorite of your parts?
My Apologies (Sort Of)
I know, I talk about running incessantly. You're starting to get bored and annoyed with all my chatter. I'm sorry in the I'm-sorry-you-feel-that-way way not in the I'm-sorry-I'm-doing-it way. It's not going to stop. I've already got races in mind for the next eleven months. If I make it through all that, I can't imagine I'll give it up.
Some reasons I'm going to keep running AND talking about it:
1) I've never felt this good about myself in my entire life (except maybe when I had 4.0 semesters post-high school). Running has given me an amazing sense of confidence and accomplishment that is dependent only on what I do or don't do, not on what other people say or think about me.
2) I can't remember a single time in my life that my body has felt better than it does now. Even with the seemingly inevitable aches and pains of running, I feel strong and energetic most of the time. And, when I am tired, I sleep great! It's not just my muscles and lungs that are working better, it's everything. A few people have even said my skin looks clearer and it was pretty clear to begin with.
3) Running is fun! Sometimes it's the most fun when it's over but, unlike any other exercise I've ever undertaken, running gives me a joy, a feeling of freedom, like I can do anything I want to do. Knowing what my friends say about racing, I think beginning that part of my journey will just add to my already significant enjoyment of the sport.
4) Every run is a triumph. Every time I go out there, I remember that, as little as three months ago, the thought of moving my body seven miles without a car felt impossible. Now, every time I go a little further or faster, it's like I won another prize.
5) Through running, I learn something new every day - about the sport, about other runners, or about myself. I love learning! I've even had opportunities to share my knowledge (possibly giving unsolicited advice - I'm actually sorry about that if it annoyed anyone) and I love teaching as much as learning.
6) I'm an inspiration. I'm not being prideful - people have told me I have inspired them. It's amazing and humbling and touching to know that something I'm doing (that can sometimes feel totally selfish) is inspiring other people to make decisions and take actions toward bettering themselves. That's definitely something I'm not planning to throw away anytime soon and I hope that my perseverance will only serve as further inspiration.
So, I'm going to keep talking. I hope you'll keep listening and responding. But, if you can't take it, I'll understand. :)
Some reasons I'm going to keep running AND talking about it:
1) I've never felt this good about myself in my entire life (except maybe when I had 4.0 semesters post-high school). Running has given me an amazing sense of confidence and accomplishment that is dependent only on what I do or don't do, not on what other people say or think about me.2) I can't remember a single time in my life that my body has felt better than it does now. Even with the seemingly inevitable aches and pains of running, I feel strong and energetic most of the time. And, when I am tired, I sleep great! It's not just my muscles and lungs that are working better, it's everything. A few people have even said my skin looks clearer and it was pretty clear to begin with.
3) Running is fun! Sometimes it's the most fun when it's over but, unlike any other exercise I've ever undertaken, running gives me a joy, a feeling of freedom, like I can do anything I want to do. Knowing what my friends say about racing, I think beginning that part of my journey will just add to my already significant enjoyment of the sport.
4) Every run is a triumph. Every time I go out there, I remember that, as little as three months ago, the thought of moving my body seven miles without a car felt impossible. Now, every time I go a little further or faster, it's like I won another prize.
5) Through running, I learn something new every day - about the sport, about other runners, or about myself. I love learning! I've even had opportunities to share my knowledge (possibly giving unsolicited advice - I'm actually sorry about that if it annoyed anyone) and I love teaching as much as learning.
6) I'm an inspiration. I'm not being prideful - people have told me I have inspired them. It's amazing and humbling and touching to know that something I'm doing (that can sometimes feel totally selfish) is inspiring other people to make decisions and take actions toward bettering themselves. That's definitely something I'm not planning to throw away anytime soon and I hope that my perseverance will only serve as further inspiration.
So, I'm going to keep talking. I hope you'll keep listening and responding. But, if you can't take it, I'll understand. :)
Diving In
Before you read the following, I have to let you know that everything I'm about to say makes me feel like a complete poser.
I'm making a plan - a race plan, that is. These are words I never thought I'd say. Before starting C25K, running a race wouldn't have even crossed my mind.
But NOW, now that I'm thinking about it, the thought loops through my mind all day long. And I spend time almost every night looking up races near people I would like to visit.
I've got a 5K coming up next month (November 22 - Millersville Turkey Trot - Millersville, PA) before I stuff myself with Thanksgiving yummies! I'm hunting for a 10K in January or February. AND... dah dah dah DAH... I've chosen my first half marathon (April 28 - Flower City Challenge - Rochester, NY) and will be running it with (behind...far behind) one of my lovely college roommates, Rebecca, and possibly one of my favorite co-workers, Karin. In May, I'm running a Warrior Dash here in Maryland - mostly because I want a fuzzy viking hat.
After that, I'm considering doing The 18.12 Challenge, which starts in my hometown and continues for 18.12 miles to a battle site from the War of 1812 on the shore of Lake Ontario in Sackets Harbor. Seriously? Seriously. And, several friends have already noted, an 18 mile race in September puts me in pretty good position for a marathon in the fall. I'm not planning on that yet.
Phew! Even thinking about it is exhausting yet, somehow, completely exhilarating at the same time.
So, I'm going to start training. That word - "training" - intimidates me, makes me feel completely out of my depth and, as I mentioned before, like a total poser. But I'm going to do it. Until now, this running thing has been all about getting fit and losing weight and feeling better about myself. Those goals still apply, but as I'm getting closer to reaching some of them, it's becoming more about pushing myself, improving my time, increasing my distance, setting a goal and crushing it as often as possible.
Anyway, I think once I run 13 miles at a go, the occasional poser-y feeling should wear off.
Feel free to offer any advice as I begin my training journey.
I'm making a plan - a race plan, that is. These are words I never thought I'd say. Before starting C25K, running a race wouldn't have even crossed my mind.
But NOW, now that I'm thinking about it, the thought loops through my mind all day long. And I spend time almost every night looking up races near people I would like to visit.
I've got a 5K coming up next month (November 22 - Millersville Turkey Trot - Millersville, PA) before I stuff myself with Thanksgiving yummies! I'm hunting for a 10K in January or February. AND... dah dah dah DAH... I've chosen my first half marathon (April 28 - Flower City Challenge - Rochester, NY) and will be running it with (behind...far behind) one of my lovely college roommates, Rebecca, and possibly one of my favorite co-workers, Karin. In May, I'm running a Warrior Dash here in Maryland - mostly because I want a fuzzy viking hat.
After that, I'm considering doing The 18.12 Challenge, which starts in my hometown and continues for 18.12 miles to a battle site from the War of 1812 on the shore of Lake Ontario in Sackets Harbor. Seriously? Seriously. And, several friends have already noted, an 18 mile race in September puts me in pretty good position for a marathon in the fall. I'm not planning on that yet.
Phew! Even thinking about it is exhausting yet, somehow, completely exhilarating at the same time.
So, I'm going to start training. That word - "training" - intimidates me, makes me feel completely out of my depth and, as I mentioned before, like a total poser. But I'm going to do it. Until now, this running thing has been all about getting fit and losing weight and feeling better about myself. Those goals still apply, but as I'm getting closer to reaching some of them, it's becoming more about pushing myself, improving my time, increasing my distance, setting a goal and crushing it as often as possible.
Anyway, I think once I run 13 miles at a go, the occasional poser-y feeling should wear off.
Feel free to offer any advice as I begin my training journey.
Races I've Run
07/20/13 - Hot Buns Run - 31:51 (5k PR)
06/15/13 - 1/2 Sauer 1/2 Kraut - 3:02:29
05/18/13 - Warrior Dash - 1:28:47
05/11/13 - The Color Run - untimed
05/05/13 - Frederick Half Marathon - 2:29:53 (HM PR)
04/28/13 - Flower City Half Marathon - 2:39:14
03/09/13 - Georgetown Ten-Miler - 1:56:18 (10-mile PR)
01/27/13 - Penguin Run 5k - 32:42
11/22/12 - Millersville Turkey Trot 5k - 35:16
06/15/13 - 1/2 Sauer 1/2 Kraut - 3:02:29
05/18/13 - Warrior Dash - 1:28:47
05/11/13 - The Color Run - untimed
05/05/13 - Frederick Half Marathon - 2:29:53 (HM PR)
04/28/13 - Flower City Half Marathon - 2:39:14
03/09/13 - Georgetown Ten-Miler - 1:56:18 (10-mile PR)
01/27/13 - Penguin Run 5k - 32:42
11/22/12 - Millersville Turkey Trot 5k - 35:16
Under Pressure
Okay, I'm willing to accept my share of the blame for the people around me jumping to conclusions. Apparently, when you write "Marathon?" on Facebook and suggest that possibly, just maybe, you will run a marathon at some time in your life, that means you are intending to run a marathon in 6 months to a year.
If I'd only known before I posted it! But I didn't and now that cat's out of the bag or something.
So, my lovely, encouraging friends are talking to me about doing a marathon and saying, "I'll run the first mile with you!" and "Let's do it!" The problem is that I am still actually undecided about this. I don't know if a marathon is a goal I'm interested in setting. I don't even know for sure if a half-marathon is in my future.
Mostly, the issue is that I'm a little bit stubborn. I don't like to do things because other people think I should. I want to do things because I want to do them. I don't want people to have expectations and goals for me.
More importantly, I don't want people to be disappointed if I don't live up to their expectations - and running 26.2 miles is a pretty big expectation.
This running thing - it's all new for me. I'm still not sure how far my mind and body will let me go. And I'm a bit overwhelmed by what it means to TRAIN for a marathon. There's so much to think about and plan.
And, I have this little thing inside me saying, "If you want to do it, you can't just do it, you have to do it well, you habitual over-achiever." And that little thing is not interested in watching me slog through a marathon at my current 13.5 min/mile pace and it has absolutely no confidence that I will be able to reach the 9-10 min/mile I'd prefer.
So, "Marathon?" really is a question in my world, not a vague and sneaky way for me to wave my arms and say, "HEY EVERYBODY, I'M GOING TO RUN A MARATHON!!!" I promise, when I make that decision, I will wave my arms and shout "WATCH ME! WATCH ME! WATCH ME!"
In the meantime, I am so grateful for everyone's encouragement (so keep it coming) and boundless confidence in my ability that I sometimes lack. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
If I'd only known before I posted it! But I didn't and now that cat's out of the bag or something.
So, my lovely, encouraging friends are talking to me about doing a marathon and saying, "I'll run the first mile with you!" and "Let's do it!" The problem is that I am still actually undecided about this. I don't know if a marathon is a goal I'm interested in setting. I don't even know for sure if a half-marathon is in my future.
Mostly, the issue is that I'm a little bit stubborn. I don't like to do things because other people think I should. I want to do things because I want to do them. I don't want people to have expectations and goals for me.
More importantly, I don't want people to be disappointed if I don't live up to their expectations - and running 26.2 miles is a pretty big expectation.
This running thing - it's all new for me. I'm still not sure how far my mind and body will let me go. And I'm a bit overwhelmed by what it means to TRAIN for a marathon. There's so much to think about and plan.
And, I have this little thing inside me saying, "If you want to do it, you can't just do it, you have to do it well, you habitual over-achiever." And that little thing is not interested in watching me slog through a marathon at my current 13.5 min/mile pace and it has absolutely no confidence that I will be able to reach the 9-10 min/mile I'd prefer.
So, "Marathon?" really is a question in my world, not a vague and sneaky way for me to wave my arms and say, "HEY EVERYBODY, I'M GOING TO RUN A MARATHON!!!" I promise, when I make that decision, I will wave my arms and shout "WATCH ME! WATCH ME! WATCH ME!"
In the meantime, I am so grateful for everyone's encouragement (so keep it coming) and boundless confidence in my ability that I sometimes lack. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
Am I Serious?
 |
| Baltimore Running Festival |
We cheered from two different locations. Our first observation point between miles 15 and 16 was a bit subdued - populated only by those who knew a friend would be coming down the road. The finish line was a completely different story. There were hundreds of people, lining both sides of the path, cheering everyone who passed. Running through that line, feeling those encouraging vibes in the last two miles of the race would set me up for 2 to 3 months.
Less than three months ago, I was still telling myself, "Running is boring and painful. Why would anyone want to do that for 5 minutes, let alone 4-5 hours straight?" Even a couple weeks ago, my opinion still went something like "Running can be fun but I still don't understand long-distance running." My time at the running festival opened my eyes - just a little bit further.
I'm beginning to see the attraction - the satisfaction in training, the energy during the race, and the sense of accomplishment at the finish line. I'm even beginning to believe that, with sufficient training, I could do it.
Does that mean I'll be running a marathon? I guess we'll see.
Retreat
Most of my closest friends live far away - some farther than others. At times, this fact is sad and distressing, almost a cause for despair. However, in the past year I've realized that it can also be a cause for rejoicing.
Though I miss living daily life with my friends - facing the mundane details side-by-side with my people - there is something to be said for having every visit be an occasion. When I want to see most of my oldest and dearest friends, I have to plan and coordinate to make it happen.
While the need to plan can sometimes be frustrating, it also means that when I'm with my friends, the time is for us to spend together. It doesn't matter what we do, we are more focused on enjoying one another than we might be if our visits were easier and more frequent. We know that our time is limited and I (I assume, we) cherish even the time spent doing nothing together.
And, as a bonus to all the amazing friend time, visits to my people can also be amazing retreats.
I get to spend hours reading at a friend's cabin.
Or watch the mist rise over a lake in early autumn at other friends' lake house.
Or write in my journal with only occasional (welcome) interruptions from little people.
My friends' homes are places full of good times and good people but the fact that I must travel to see them gives me the chance to get away from my normal life on a regular basis. It's beautiful. And, no matter how much I would love to be nearer my dear ones, distance has its benefits.
Though I miss living daily life with my friends - facing the mundane details side-by-side with my people - there is something to be said for having every visit be an occasion. When I want to see most of my oldest and dearest friends, I have to plan and coordinate to make it happen.
While the need to plan can sometimes be frustrating, it also means that when I'm with my friends, the time is for us to spend together. It doesn't matter what we do, we are more focused on enjoying one another than we might be if our visits were easier and more frequent. We know that our time is limited and I (I assume, we) cherish even the time spent doing nothing together.
And, as a bonus to all the amazing friend time, visits to my people can also be amazing retreats.
I get to spend hours reading at a friend's cabin.
Or watch the mist rise over a lake in early autumn at other friends' lake house.
Or write in my journal with only occasional (welcome) interruptions from little people.
My friends' homes are places full of good times and good people but the fact that I must travel to see them gives me the chance to get away from my normal life on a regular basis. It's beautiful. And, no matter how much I would love to be nearer my dear ones, distance has its benefits.
I'm a Runner
The title of this blog may make you think, "Duh." Maybe a few of you even said it out loud. After all, even to me, it seems like running and exercise and diet are all I ever write about on here (and on facebook). But, I didn't realize how true the statement "I am a runner" has become in my life until today.
The last time I ran, before today, was September 1. That's when this stupid pain in my foot kicked in. I've been exercising since - aerobics, strength, flexibility, yadda yadda yadda - but it has all been in service of the ultimate goal: once again lacing up my running shoes and hitting the streets.
Having been pain free for more than a week, I decided to take a calculated risk and go for a jog this morning. I got up around 7, dressed in my decidedly non-fancy running duds, popped in my ear buds, and headed out the door.
Even as I started, I was thinking I'd just walk. Then I opened my C25K app, regressed to week 6, even though I was only one session away from week 8 when I got injured, and pressed "Begin Workout."
I was a bit nervous when I started jogging the first time - completely tuned in to any warning signs from my foot. My stride was clumsy at first but it smoothed out more quickly than I expected. Everything felt great.
When the C25K coach told me to begin walking, I was a little disappointed. I felt no need to rest but I followed her instructions. Throughout the second jogging section, I was thinking, "Maybe this foot injury isn't really a problem. This feels good! I LIKE RUNNING!!!"
That's when the thought hit me - I'm a runner. An injured, newbie runner, yes, but a runner nonetheless. I think I even had a tiny runner's high.
It was during the third jogging section that I got my first twinge. I kept going for a minute or so, feeling it out. When the pain didn't subside, I slowed to a walk - a very disappointed walk, I must say - and finished my trek home. I was nearly 2 miles into my run before I felt any pain at all. AT ALL.
The moral of this story is that, whatever the doctor recommends (we've been playing phone tag for the past couple of days), the ultimate goal of any treatment plan for my foot will need to be getting me back out running with the fewest number of invasive procedures possible. After all...
I AM A RUNNER!
The last time I ran, before today, was September 1. That's when this stupid pain in my foot kicked in. I've been exercising since - aerobics, strength, flexibility, yadda yadda yadda - but it has all been in service of the ultimate goal: once again lacing up my running shoes and hitting the streets.
Having been pain free for more than a week, I decided to take a calculated risk and go for a jog this morning. I got up around 7, dressed in my decidedly non-fancy running duds, popped in my ear buds, and headed out the door.
Even as I started, I was thinking I'd just walk. Then I opened my C25K app, regressed to week 6, even though I was only one session away from week 8 when I got injured, and pressed "Begin Workout."
I was a bit nervous when I started jogging the first time - completely tuned in to any warning signs from my foot. My stride was clumsy at first but it smoothed out more quickly than I expected. Everything felt great.
When the C25K coach told me to begin walking, I was a little disappointed. I felt no need to rest but I followed her instructions. Throughout the second jogging section, I was thinking, "Maybe this foot injury isn't really a problem. This feels good! I LIKE RUNNING!!!"
That's when the thought hit me - I'm a runner. An injured, newbie runner, yes, but a runner nonetheless. I think I even had a tiny runner's high.
It was during the third jogging section that I got my first twinge. I kept going for a minute or so, feeling it out. When the pain didn't subside, I slowed to a walk - a very disappointed walk, I must say - and finished my trek home. I was nearly 2 miles into my run before I felt any pain at all. AT ALL.
The moral of this story is that, whatever the doctor recommends (we've been playing phone tag for the past couple of days), the ultimate goal of any treatment plan for my foot will need to be getting me back out running with the fewest number of invasive procedures possible. After all...
I AM A RUNNER!
Broken Foot (or Complain, Complain, Complain)
Usually, when I go to the doctor, I leave feeling better. Maybe not 100% better but, at least, confident that there is a direction that will lead to healing. Didn't feel that way so much leaving the podiatrist today.Today, leaving the doctor's office, I felt like the rug was being pulled out from under me. For nine weeks, I had been on track, holding steady, taking control of my health, and really beginning to enjoy running. Even after her initial assessment, the doctor seemed confident that it was probably just tendinitis. She had x-rays taken just to be sure it wasn't something with the bone.
Well, it was something with the bone. I saw the x-ray and thought, "What is that extra joint doing there?" Turns out, it wasn't an extra joint but an old fracture that had never been properly diagnosed or treated and had, therefore, not properly healed. In fact, the bone that broke didn't heal back together at all. You can clearly see the split in my x-ray. That means, that one of the bones in my foot is not bearing any weight at all - so the other bones and my muscles and tendons have to take up the slack. Which has led to tendinitis and the pain I've been experiencing. The doc hopes we can treat this with orthotic inserts but, if that doesn't work, surgery may be the next logical step. Surgery! On my foot! And I didn't think to ask whether she thought the inserts would be enough to get out running again or if that was just a measure to make me comfortable.
On the way home from the doctor, I started crying in my car. They were tears of anger and frustration. Some of it was frustration that I can't do what I want to right now, which is to exercise pretty intensely on a daily basis. Most of it was anger, though, that when I was fifteen, my mom had to consider her pocketbook when deciding whether I should receive medical care... anger that when I was fifteen, I knew how tight money was, and felt like I should downplay my pain to not stress/worry my mother... anger that whatever has to be done now to fix it will likely cost much more that it would have and be far more painful than it would have been to get it treated right away.
I know there are alternatives - I can find other activities to do - but right now it feels like they all involve gym memberships and/or expensive equipment that I can't afford. Running only requires a good pair of shoes and almost everything else is optional for the distances I can do. And aerobics requires a good floor space and a few DVDs borrowed from the library.
There are certain to be positive developments in this situation and I know there are lots of worse things that could have happened but, for today, I'm feeling down and I won't apologize for it.
The Anxiety of Rest
Last week, I was on vacation. It was truly lovely to visit one of my best friend's and her beautiful family but, while there, I experienced unexpected anxiety.I've been at this exercise thing for two months now - twice a day, six days a week. I know, it sounds crazy but it makes me feel good. While I was in Houghton, I wanted to ease off a little, enjoy some rest and relaxation. I still worked out most days, but only once. I even got a really great run in with my amazing marathon-training Rebecca. I ran two whole miles without stopping - two runs in a row!!!
On the days I didn't get up in the morning to work out right away, I noticed that I spent many minutes throughout the rest of the day feeling anxious that I was losing momentum until I did some sort of exercise. In the back of my mind, there was (and is) this voice reminding me of the times I've started and quit in the past.
It taunts me, whispering, "Ha! This is how it happened before - you were going to take it easy for a week or you got sick or your muscles were extra sore and you never started again. You're a looosssseeer."
And, now, after a couple really great runs in Houghton, I'm injured. There wasn't a moment when it happened, so the diagnosis isn't obvious, but walking and running make my left foot and ankle hurt and it's a bit swollen. The pain is dull and achy, gone when I wake up but returning as soon as I've walked for a few minutes.
So, wisdom and running friends tell me that I shouldn't run on this foot. I probably shouldn't do aerobics on this foot either. If it doesn't go away in a few days, I'll need to go to the doctor. If it's the stress fracture I fear, it could mean 3-4 weeks of "rest."
And, I think I'm getting sick (sore throat and all that jazz), which is another good reason to rest and recover. But...
I DON'T WANT TO REST! I don't want to sit around. I want to run and do aerobics and practice yoga and lift weights. I want to finish couch to 5K and move on to 5K to 10K. I want to keep moving in the right direction, not stagnating on my couch. Most of all, I don't want to quit. I don't want to quit. I don't want to quit!
Please, dear God, don't let me quit.
This Always Happens
I've been eating more responsibly since near the end of April.
Now I'm tired of it.
I want to eat great big bowls of spaghetti covered in meat sauce and cheese. After that, I want cinnamon rolls or apple crisp with piles of whipped cream, not just one serving but two, maybe three.
This time ALWAYS comes. It's fun to eat right...for a while.
Some of you may be wondering if I just need to relax on the food, give myself a break. The thing is, I do. And, when I do, it just makes me want to "cheat" even more.
I'm okay with the way I need to eat to be healthy and fit until I let myself have sweets or french fries or pizza or any of the other things that used to make up my entire diet.
Old habits are fabled to die hard, but I think mine only suffer temporary defeats, after which they go into hiding to gather their strength and prepare for a new attack.
I guess it's time for me to prepare a counter-attack.
Die, habits, die!
Advice gladly accepted.
Now I'm tired of it.
I want to eat great big bowls of spaghetti covered in meat sauce and cheese. After that, I want cinnamon rolls or apple crisp with piles of whipped cream, not just one serving but two, maybe three.
This time ALWAYS comes. It's fun to eat right...for a while.
Some of you may be wondering if I just need to relax on the food, give myself a break. The thing is, I do. And, when I do, it just makes me want to "cheat" even more.
I'm okay with the way I need to eat to be healthy and fit until I let myself have sweets or french fries or pizza or any of the other things that used to make up my entire diet.
Old habits are fabled to die hard, but I think mine only suffer temporary defeats, after which they go into hiding to gather their strength and prepare for a new attack.
I guess it's time for me to prepare a counter-attack.
Die, habits, die!
Advice gladly accepted.
Dog Days Are Over
Florence + The Machine is one of my favorite bands these days. AND they happen to have written one of my favorite (running) songs.
Here are the lyrics:
Happiness hit her like a train on a track;
Coming towards her, stuck still, no turning back.
She hid around corners and she hid under beds,
She killed it with kisses and from it she fled.
With every bubble, she sank with her drink
And washed it away down the kitchen sink.
CHORUS: The dog days are over .
The dog days are done.
The horses are coming
So you better run.
CHORUS 2: Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father ,
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers.
Leave all your love and your longing behind,
You can't carry it with you if you want to survive.
CHORUS
And I never wanted anything from you
Except everything you had and what was left after that too, oh
Happiness hit her like a bullet in the back
Struck from a great height by someone who should know better than that
The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
'Cause here they come
CHORUS 2 and CHORUS (X2)
A couple of weeks ago, I was running in the rain, and this song came on my iPod. Those of you who know me, know that I'm pretty good at keeping emotional demonstrations in check but I couldn't stop myself from crying as this song played and I continued to run. (Like the Everly Brothers before me, "[I] do my crying in the rain.")
I was completely overwhelmed by the idea of happiness coming after me, seeking me out, insisting on being a part of my life. And I had this revelation that by running (and practicing yoga and eating right and spending time with people and the list goes on) I'd stopped running from happiness, joy, love, and lots of other good things.
There are a lot of interpretations of this song and most seem to have the common thread of running from an abusive relationship. Perhaps that's a proper interpretation but it doesn't ring true for me; I just hear the "warning" that happiness is coming - whether I like it or not. I think I'll like it.
The dog days are indeed over.
Here are the lyrics:Happiness hit her like a train on a track;
Coming towards her, stuck still, no turning back.
She hid around corners and she hid under beds,
She killed it with kisses and from it she fled.
With every bubble, she sank with her drink
And washed it away down the kitchen sink.
CHORUS: The dog days are over .
The dog days are done.
The horses are coming
So you better run.
CHORUS 2: Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father ,
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers.
Leave all your love and your longing behind,
You can't carry it with you if you want to survive.
CHORUS
And I never wanted anything from you
Except everything you had and what was left after that too, oh
Happiness hit her like a bullet in the back
Struck from a great height by someone who should know better than that
The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
'Cause here they come
CHORUS 2 and CHORUS (X2)
A couple of weeks ago, I was running in the rain, and this song came on my iPod. Those of you who know me, know that I'm pretty good at keeping emotional demonstrations in check but I couldn't stop myself from crying as this song played and I continued to run. (Like the Everly Brothers before me, "[I] do my crying in the rain.")
I was completely overwhelmed by the idea of happiness coming after me, seeking me out, insisting on being a part of my life. And I had this revelation that by running (and practicing yoga and eating right and spending time with people and the list goes on) I'd stopped running from happiness, joy, love, and lots of other good things.
There are a lot of interpretations of this song and most seem to have the common thread of running from an abusive relationship. Perhaps that's a proper interpretation but it doesn't ring true for me; I just hear the "warning" that happiness is coming - whether I like it or not. I think I'll like it.
The dog days are indeed over.
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