American Idol Is So Aaronic...

Last night, they handed out Golden Idols.
LOL!!!

.XXX

This is my last day at work before I go to Buffalo for the weekend.  We don't have a lot going on in the office, so I have been spending a lot of time reading the news.  This story intrigued me.

 

What person in their right mind believes that adding a new domain specifically for porn is going to make it any easier to find?  All you have to do is type "porn" in any search engine and you'll get about 90 gazillion results.

 

I think they should do it.  In fact, I think they should make the new domain and require that all websites with "adult content" have domain names with the .xxx suffix.  Can you even imagine how much more effective filtering programs would be? and how much less smut will come up when you search for stuff?

 

I'm on board!

I did a Google Image search for my name and I came up with...

POPSICLE STICK PANTS!!!!


Coolest! Ever!

Bits From Emily

Radio Commercial: I'm a digital detective and an attorney...
Emily: I want to be a digital detective.
Me: Why?
Emily: I want to digickly detect people!!!

****************************************************

Email from Emily's friend, Megan, who is a missionary with Wycliffe somewhere in Asia:
"Today I came back from a women's retreat i was sort of roped into.
Sharing time question 1: What was your favorite pair of shoes ever?
Question 2: What was your least favorite pair?
Question 3: Do you have a pair of shoes that describes your relationship with Jesus? (expound...)Yeah,the estrogen was thick."

I Used To Love You

When I first began attending church, I listened to almost every Focus on the Family broadcast that existed. I mean, I really ate the stuff up...especially the women should stay at home and have lots of babies stuff.

Now, almost every time I listen to it, I sort of want to throw up. I was listening to Christian radio the other night in my car when someone from FOTF began reviewing The Da Vinci Code movie. Of course, they were making a big deal about how only mature Christians should see the film and you should have a better reason than just entertainment.

"And, of course, it can be an evangelism tool."

"But, there are other ways to learn about Dan Brown's claims and learn how to refute his errors without actually reading the book or seeing the movie."

I say, see the damn movie if you want to see the movie. I want to see it and, despite the $7.50 required to see a matinee in NoVa, I probably will. And I'm not even planning on beating my non-Christian friends over the head with "evangelistic" responses to its idiotic claims. Honestly, if someone thinks the claims of a historical fiction writer can damage his or her faith, maybe someone needs to take some time to figure out what he or she has faith in and why Dan Brown's stupid (but enjoyable) book has a negative impact on that.

Stupid Subject Matter Badly Executed

Just so you know, there is a picture of a tattooed penis at the bottom of the second page of the website I'm linking to, but it's really worth checking out these terrible tattoos.

Not Very Graceful

On my way to church last night, for our last choir rehearsal of the season, I was stopped at a red light.  To my left, there was a lane for people turning right.  Due to the position of my car and the position of the lane, the SUV behind me couldn't squeeze past to turn.  The driver honked and she and her friends gave me angry looks to get me to pull up.

 

I pulled up a little and returned the angry looks with some of my own.  As the car was pulling away, without thinking, without missing a beat, and to my own horror and amazement, I flipped off the girls in the SUV.  WHAT?!!  I couldn't believe my own eyes.  I was completely mortified.

 

Generally, I can just let car things go.  If someone wants to go faster than me, I get over for them.  If someone isn't looking when the light changes, I honk a short, friendly honk and laugh about the times I've done that myself.  Last night, though, I wasn't so forgiving.

 

As I drove the rest of the way to church, I prayed for those girls, that my lack of grace in that situation would be compensated for in some way.  I prayed for myself, that God would forgive my lack of patience and help me to never repeat such stupidity.  And I resolved that the next time someone honks at me or passes me or gives me an angry look from their car, I will smile and wave.

This Is What I Like To Call Funny

Please be warned: Samuel L. Jackson says f***.

New Plan

Some of my co-workers and I were scheming over lunch. We decided that it would be a fun experiment to pull a Ferris Bueller stunt. You know the part where Ferris sets up a dummy in his bed to make it look like he's home when he's not. Well, we are going to build a dummy that will fill in for me at work. Then we're going to rig it so that the hand holds the mouse and moves a little. I'm going to set up my computer with some important looking documents, keep the screensaver from starting, and leave an open file on my desk.

Sounds like a plan...no one would really notice my absence in the summer.

Where Were You When Kennedy Was Shot?

When you get all the people in my department together for lunch, conversation takes some inexplicably strange turns. Today, we discussed everything from the aftermath of Chernobyl to frequent flyer mile programs to the Grey's Anatomy season finale until we finally landed on 9/11.

People will always remember where they were on that day. It was the second day of Renee's honeymoon. Eric hadn't come to the office because he had to take his car to the mechanic's. Several people were already at the office before anything happened. Vinnie's friend was stuck in the traffic next to the Pentagon. The plane that hit there flew directly over her car. She watched as the jetliner hit the side of the building. Almost everyone remembered seeing the smoke as the headed home.

I was in Houghton.
It was a perfectly lovely day.
I was in a classroom on the third floor of the NAB
waiting for Kingdon's OT Prophets 1 to begin.
One of my classmates walked in and said,
"Two planes just flew into the World Trade Center."
Blank looks and some grunts of disbelief from the other students in the room.
"You're kidding...whatever."
"I watched it live..."

Dr. Kingdon arrived on time.
He asked if anyone wanted to say anything.
No one did.
Dr. Kingdon prayed...
then proceeded with class.

Richard arrived a little late.
He was trying to reach his mother in New Jersey.
His dad worked at the WTC on a fairly regular basis.
The phone lines were jammed and he couldn't get through.

There was an assembly.
I don't think we had afternoon classes, but that detail slips my mind.
What I remember is sitting in front of the big screen TV in the Campus Center Lounge
watching the constant replay of the crashes and eventual collapses.
I remember seeing people hurtling to their deaths from windows hundreds of feet off the ground.
I remember learning of the third and fourth planes.
I remember weeping over the futility of it all.
I remember thinking that I would never forget the day the world ended.

Where were you?

I Bide My Time While Biting My Tongue

Say you're having an informal departmental lunch for about ten people. The lunch is taking place in a room adjacent to the kitchen. Almost everyone in the office automatically detours to the kitchen for a beverage before entering the kitchen.

Given these parameters, would you place cold drinks in the lunch room AN HOUR AND A FREAKING HALF before the lunch starts?

I know I would. After all, it makes perfect sense: everyone I know loves warm soda drunk from cans and bottle. Also, the support services woman absolutely adores cleaning puddles from the middle of the huge lunchroom table. It's so convenient, even enjoyable and so totally her job.

Sitting At My Desk

Could fall asleep sitting up I'm so tired.

Why so tired?

I just don't know.

So...Grey's Anatomy

Denny died...I was prepared for that. The writer's blogs and foreshadowing in the show made it impossible for him to make it. At least he was happy for a while before it happened.

Izzie quit...I expected her to get kicked out of the program, but quitting also makes sense. It doesn't seem like getting rid of Katie Heigl would be good for the show. According to Emily, she still has a contract for next season. I hope that she sticks around and she and Alex get back together. He really does love her...you know how you can tell on TV.

I wanted to kill Cristina every time she walked away from Burke. She knew what she was doing was wrong and she kept doing it. Easy for me to criticize,
but I'm sure the writers meant for me to get mad at her, so I feel completely justified. I'm glad the Chief didn't give her any advice about "keeping her edge" because she already has enough sharpness.

Interesting that the Chief thought his affair was still a secret. Interesting that his wife would pull that card out at the moment she did.

I like Callie and I like George and I like Callie and George. I understood where George was coming from when he apologized to Meredith. Sometimes it's easier to ignore the consequences, which you know are inevitable, for a few moments of happiness.

Derek and Meredith had sex!!! Makes me want to vomit. He's married!! She's dating someone! It's just wrong. Anyone with any morals at all knows it's wrong. And...Addison is so great and she's really trying to make this marriage work. Most of the time I like her better than Meredith.

Derek doesn't get to try to stop her from leaving with the vet. He doesn't get to have any claim on Meredith unless he is going to go all the way with it...leave Addison and commit to Meredith. The only reason I think he should do that is because it would be better for Addison.

There is probably much rejoicing by those who desperately wish for Meredith and Derek to get together. They are happy that Derek is a faithless jerk and that Meredith is pursuing a career as a homewrecker. They think it was so romantic and lovely. I'm just sick.

Predictions for next season: Addison is totally going to find Meredith's panties on Derek.

Heresy Refuted.

Just to ease the minds of my readers... I have, in fact, seen "The Empire Strikes Back." To be perfectly honest, I was confused by the director's name and was too lazy to check if it was the Star Wars movie or another more artsy film.

Monday Morning Rant

So, lately, they have been giving us juice with our bagels on Monday mornings. Apparently, there are a lot of people (read: crazy women who pretend they're dieting only when someone might see) who share their 10 oz. bottles of orange juice. I mean really...give me a freaking break! So, instead of letting people go on sharing the ten ounce size, they are going to start buying 5 oz. cans of juice. Egad!! Makes me want to womit.

34 Of 102...I Suck!

I copied this list from Roger Ebert, I will now proceed to make the ones I have seen (*).

"2001: A Space Odyssey" (1968) Stanley Kubrick
"The 400 Blows" (1959) Francois Truffaut
"8 1/2" (1963) Federico Fellini
"Aguirre, the Wrath of God" (1972) Werner Herzog
"Alien" (1979) Ridley Scott
*"All About Eve" (1950) Joseph L. Mankiewicz
"Annie Hall" (1977) Woody Allen
*"Apocalypse Now" (1979) Francis Ford Coppola*
*"Bambi" (1942) Disney
*"The Battleship Potemkin" (1925) Sergei Eisenstein
*"The Best Years of Our Lives" (1946) William Wyler
"The Big Red One" (1980) Samuel Fuller
"The Bicycle Thief" (1949) Vittorio De Sica
"The Big Sleep" (1946) Howard Hawks
"Blade Runner" (1982) Ridley Scott
"Blowup" (1966) Michelangelo Antonioni
"Blue Velvet" (1986) David Lynch
"Bonnie and Clyde" (1967) Arthur Penn
"Breathless" (1959 Jean-Luc Godard
"Bringing Up Baby" (1938) Howard Hawks
"Carrie" (1975) Brian DePalma
"Casablanca" (1942) Michael Curtiz
"Un Chien Andalou" (1928) Luis Bunuel & Salvador Dali
"Children of Paradise" / "Les Enfants du Paradis" (1945) Marcel Carne
*"Chinatown" (1974) Roman Polanski
"Citizen Kane" (1941) Orson Welles
*"A Clockwork Orange" (1971) Stanley Kubrick
"The Crying Game" (1992) Neil Jordan
"The Day the Earth Stood Still" (1951) Robert Wise
"Days of Heaven" (1978) Terence Malick
"Dirty Harry" (1971) Don Siegel
"The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie" (1972) Luis Bunuel
"Do the Right Thing" (1989 Spike Lee
"La Dolce Vita" (1960) Federico Fellini
"Double Indemnity" (1944) Billy Wilder
"Dr. Strangelove" (1964) Stanley Kubrick
"Duck Soup" (1933) Leo McCarey
*"E.T. -- The Extra-Terrestrial" (1982) Steven Spielberg
"Easy Rider" (1969) Dennis Hopper
*"The Empire Strikes Back" (1980) Irvin Kershner
"The Exorcist" (1973) William Friedkin
*"Fargo" (1995) Joel & Ethan Coen
*"Fight Club" (1999) David Fincher
"Frankenstein" (1931) James Whale
"The General" (1927) Buster Keaton & Clyde Bruckman
*"The Godfather," *"The Godfather, Part II" (1972, 1974) Francis Ford Coppola
*"Gone With the Wind" (1939) Victor Fleming
*"GoodFellas" (1990) Martin Scorsese
*"The Graduate" (1967) Mike Nichols
"Halloween" (1978) John Carpenter
"A Hard Day's Night" (1964) Richard Lester
"Intolerance" (1916) D.W. Griffith
"It's a Gift" (1934) Norman Z. McLeod
*"It's a Wonderful Life" (1946) Frank Capra
*"Jaws" (1975) Steven Spielberg
"The Lady Eve" (1941) Preston Sturges
"Lawrence of Arabia" (1962) David Lean
"M" (1931) Fritz Lang
*"Mad Max 2" / "The Road Warrior" (1981) George Miller
"The Maltese Falcon" (1941) John Huston
*"The Manchurian Candidate" (1962) John Frankenheimer
"Metropolis" (1926) Fritz Lang
"Modern Times" (1936) Charles Chaplin
*"Monty Python and the Holy Grail" (1975) Terry Jones & Terry Gilliam
"Nashville" (1975) Robert Altman
"The Night of the Hunter" (1955) Charles Laughton
"Night of the Living Dead" (1968) George Romero
"North by Northwest" (1959) Alfred Hitchcock
*"Nosferatu" (1922) F.W. Murnau
*"On the Waterfront" (1954) Elia Kazan
"Once Upon a Time in the West" (1968) Sergio Leone
"Out of the Past" (1947) Jacques Tournier
"Persona" (1966) Ingmar Bergman
"Pink Flamingos" (1972) John Waters
"Psycho" (1960) Alfred Hitchcock
*"Pulp Fiction" (1994) Quentin Tarantino
"Rashomon" (1950) Akira Kurosawa
"Rear Window" (1954) Alfred Hitchcock
*"Rebel Without a Cause" (1955) Nicholas Ray
"Red River" (1948) Howard Hawks
"Repulsion" (1965) Roman Polanski
"The Rules of the Game" (1939) Jean Renoir
"Scarface" (1932) Howard Hawks
"The Scarlet Empress" (1934) Josef von Sternberg
*"Schindler's List" (1993) Steven Spielberg
"The Searchers" (1956) John Ford
"The Seven Samurai" (1954) Akira Kurosawa
*"Singin' in the Rain" (1952) Stanley Donen & Gene Kelly
*"Some Like It Hot" (1959) Billy Wilder
"A Star Is Born" (1954) George Cukor
*"A Streetcar Named Desire" (1951) Elia Kazan
*"Sunset Boulevard" (1950) Billy Wilder
*"Taxi Driver" (1976) Martin Scorsese
"The Third Man" (1949) Carol Reed
"Tokyo Story" (1953) Yasujiro Ozu
"Touch of Evil" (1958) Orson Welles
"The Treasure of the Sierra Madre" (1948) John Huston
"Trouble in Paradise" (1932) Ernst Lubitsch
*"Vertigo" (1958) Alfred Hitchcock
*"West Side Story" (1961) Jerome Robbins/Robert Wise
"The Wild Bunch" (1969) Sam Peckinpah
*"The Wizard of Oz" (1939) Victor Fleming

H/t to Kottke.

Knock Knock

Hilarious take on door-to-door evangelism...

h/t to maggi dawn

Update To The Car Fiasco

When I got home last night, I called Carl, the guy who had promised to have my car outside waiting for me when I got to Auto Stop. He had gotten sick and left work early and told one of his co-workers to leave my car outside. The person he asked to place the car outside also left work early and didn't tell anyone about my car. So, when I talked to Carl last night he said he would bring my car to my house since I wouldn't have time to pick it up tonight. This morning he called to confirm the address and ask where to park. After speaking to him, I called Harold, the front desk guy and discussed the situation. To make up for my six mile trek in flip-flops, my next oil change is on the house.

While I was pretty annoyed by the inconvenience and am now experiencing muscle pain and fatigue, I am pleased with the way the guys over at Auto Stop handled themselves and will be glad to give them my business in the future.

The Worst Thing That's Happened Since I Moved To Virginia

I'm going to a wedding in Buffalo later this month, so I thought it would be a good idea to take my car in for tire rotation and an oil change. No problem...I found a coupon for a "spring maintenance package" that included both these services for under $50.

I dropped my car off around 8:30 and it was done by 11 a.m. I was at work and wouldn't be able to make it to the shop until after they closed, so the guy who worked on my car said that it would be parked outside with the keys under the driver's side mat. Fine...I got home around six, and to save cab fare, walked my needing exercise ass to the body shop about 2 and a half miles away.

The walk was rather pleasant...I didn't even mind when I got lost because there's little difference between 2.5 and 3 miles. I made some random observations that I stored to blog about, but they were all thrown out of my mind when I arrived at the body shop only to find that the door was closed and my car was inside!!!

I walked down a few hundred feet just to see if they had hidden it on me, but to no avail. Just to make sure I wasn't hallucinating, I pressed my panic button and heard my car's horn echoing off the inside of the garage walls.

There was a woman leaving the building next door. (Being stupid, I hadn't brought my cell phone or my wallet...just my license and my car keys.) I asked her if she knew the guys at the shop. She did not. I asked her with tears streaming down my face if she would give me a ride home. She looked at me like I was crazy. "There's a bus." No money. "Is there someone you can call?" I don't know anyone's numbers because they are on my cell phone and all of my friends are a million miles away right now. *look of utter impotence* Nevermind, I'll walk (away in tears, you jerk!).

So, I walked the 2 and a half miles home...uphill (I'm not even kidding). By the time I got home, I was so dirty and sweaty that I had to take a shower to feel okay again. My fingers were puffy like sausages that are about to split their casings. My mouth was so dry I was producing glue rather than saliva. I called the guy who told me my car would be outside. He's going to bring it to my house tomorrow. I'm also going to call Auto Stop and nicely request that I get either a discount or my next oil change free. Honestly, some of the worst service I've ever experienced.

Yes, Folks...

Bibles do come in a spring line now.

Please, someone...anyone...

Couldn't someone just shoot Paula and Randy and put us out of our misery?

First of all, David Blaine is an idiot, not an artist.

Secondly, Naveen Andrews (pictured above) has a cockney accent!!!

Into The Woods

I want to go camping in the woods for several weeks...NOW!

Right Now

At this very moment, I am skipping choir rehearsal. There's no reason for me to skip it, I just wanted to, so I did.

Not only did I skip choir, I went to McDonald's, got chicken strips AND a caramel sundae, and I've been working out an average of once a week lately.

Other than eating junky food, I've done nothing but play on myspace and watch television.

Does anyone else ever feel like they have a self-destruct button that's already been pushed.

No Free Rides

I'm just beginning to realize what not having a car at school will mean. Visits to friends will be nearly impossible unless I want to spend lots of time on buses. Going home for vacations will require finding a ride with a classmate. Running to Trention for a Rita's Gelati on a whim will be completely out. Awww...

It will also mean no insurance payments, no money budgeted for skyrocketing gas prices, and no worries about scheduled maintenance. WOOT!!!

My mother is going to use the car while I'm at PTS. I will still be responsible for the car payments, but I will also have a car waiting for me when I get done. It's a blessing not to have to think about buying a car when I'm broke just out of school again. And, hopefully, it will be a blessing to my mother whose current car is getting about 13 miles/gallon.

Beauty Is Truth

I like my iPod naked. Apple made it so lovely that it seems a shame to dress it up. Even in the clear hard case I bought, it's natural beauty is hidden. In the neoprene case for working out, it's not even recognizable. Someday, perhaps Apple will make a durable faceplate
that doesn't scratch when you look at it. ;)

WARNING! Common Sense To Follow

In the past few days, I have been reminded that the outcome of my day is almost entirely dependent on my expectations. I expect a day to go well or badly, it will. Some mornings I wake up to the neighbors' music that is too loud for 7 a.m. in a house shared by strangers and I get all pissy and I have a pissy day because I can't let go of the early morning bitterness. Other days, I listen to good music on the way to work, smile at people on the Metro, and have a generally good day because I've made a conscious decision that no one can ruin my mood.

I'm ashamed to admit that the pissy days are a bit more frequent than the happy days, as is evidenced by my bitter diatribes on Livejournal. Believe me, I don't want to be a bitter, sarcastic, angry person, but I often don't even notice it's happening until I'm ranting to Emily at the end of the day.

Today started out as one of the pissy days. I woke 45 minutes earlier than necessary becuase the neighbors were listening to some guy talk on the radio (WAY TOO LOUDLY!). I got in the shower earlier than normal and was able to take time straightening my hair because Emily had to be at work at some crazy hour this morning. Getting an early start allowed me to make some eggs with hot sauce for breakfast. My Metro ride was uncrowded and uneventful and my randomly shuffling iPod played Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture for me. Sounds like a mostly good start, eh?

Then I got to work and was welcomed by a stack of 27 submissions that needed to be copied. No problem! I have a system that makes copying these things a breeze and in my nerdy way, I like implementing that system. However, the stack of work was accompanied by a phone message from La Super. I don't even remember how many of these submission packets I copied and sent last year, (it was probably around 250) but La Super decided that she needed to leave me a three minute message explaining the process!! I know it's not a big deal, I should just take it in stride, but sometimes I just want to scream something like, "Do you think I'm an idiot??!!"

But I held my tongue, as per the usual, and chalked it up to experience. Then, I went about the multiple hours of copying and stamping with an intentional bounce in my step and ignored the implications (that I am a moron and can't remember how to do anything) of that phone message. Since then, it's been a pleasant day. What do you know about that?