Why Did She Wear That?

As I was sitting in my car at an intersection this afternoon, I saw a couple cross the street. Both of them were large. Both were wearing clothes that some might call embarrassingly tight.

One of the first thoughts that went through my head was, "Why would she wear clothes that make her look like that?"

Then, almost immediately, I thought, "Why do I care? Why should anyone care?"

Then, "Maybe she feels great in those clothes. Maybe she looked in the mirror this morning and thought, 'Damn! Lookin' good!'"

Then, "Who convinced me that having fat makes a person less valuable or that a person should feel ashamed to show their fat in public?"

And, "Why are my thoughts always so much harsher toward large women than large men?"

Finally, it was like scales fell off my eyes, and, for a few seconds at least, I realized that I have no right or reason to care about someone else's weight or size unless I know the person and his or her situation and can be genuinely concerned for the health of that person.

Though I'd like to pretend that I have the emotional capacity to care for the health of every person I see, I can't honestly say that I do.

So, just as I hope others aren't judging me when some of my fat is showing in a way our culture deems unattractive or when they don't know I ran 10 miles before deciding to eat four pieces of pizza or a giant bag of Taco Bell, I'm going to do my best to stop judging everyone around me for not meeting the artificial standard of attractiveness I've bought into more than I realize or want to admit.

Maybe by being less judgmental of others, I will find a way to stop judging myself.